With that out of the way, let’s tackle what makes this a especially interesting project, which is the addition of new elements to this mahou shoujo skeleton. Following the noble motto that everything is better with robots, Vividred adds each and every Super Robot trope it can fit. While I love how Himawari has magic funnels and VividGreen brandishes her sword in a way that would make Obari proud, if it just were something as superficial as that I wouldn’t be impressed – after all, Mahou Senki Lyrical Nanoha Force already demolished any wall between these two genres on that level. Vividred goes further than mecha musume. It has some rather blatant references to notable series, but its strokes of genius come in the form of assimilation of foreign concepts. Most Super Robot fans will be aware that researching infinite power sources is one of the oldest clichés the genre has dealt with; the solution to this dilemma is also present in Vividred, but it just happens to be a secondary effect of an old man’s experiment to make magical girls a reality. It’s stuff like this that makes you stop and think that for such a silly show, it has a considerable amount of thought put onto it.
This insane mix is not flawless, but I’m confident when I say that this is as good as it could get. On the negative side, you have the pacing that’s been hurt by trying to compress the soul of long running anime into a mere 12 episodes. This also affects character development a great deal, since the show’s applying the slow modus operandi that characterizes those shows to a much shorter project. The end result is having a cast that didn’t have much depth to begin with and lacks the necessary time to become relatable in any way. Having no reason to care about those characters means the entire thing can feel incredibly unengaging if you’re not already a fan of those elements it plays around with, so this could very well be a fatal flaw for most.

This show is unreservedly dumb, but the way it’s ensembled is rather clever. And while being aware of that is in no way necessary to have fun with it, it adds a new layer of enjoyment to it. Note that we’re still talking of a very restrictive series that is very likely to turn you off if you have low tolerance of either shows for little girls or butts belonging to them. Beware of the shallow characters, predictability of the series and mundane content. And don’t really expect the best magical girl series, because it isn’t. With that in mind, give it a try if it sounds even remotely similar to something you could enjoy. If only so I see more people awkwardly trying to explain why they like that show with all the magical girl crotches.

Achiga-hen is by no means good. Frankly speaking, it sucks. Ritz had a good idea when she thought of a spin-off to cover the side of the Nationals we’d never see in-depth otherwise. It was even backed up by a fair amount of foreshadowing and references in the original series, making the premise of witnessing the rise of a new unknown team seem really appealing. What better than having a sneak peek at the team that’s been hyped as the final boss for the longest time, as well as giving Kiyosumi extra motivation to achieve victory?
The anime adaptation was off to a good start, even managing to secure the same staff (no longer under the name of Gonzo’s Studio 5, since they’d recently formed Studio Gokumi) for it. I should note that the director/scripwriter duo are the same guys who worked on this thing called Horizon, so you can probably guess that they’re quite used to working on crazy series plagued with insane powers and unconventional action. And they’re pretty damn competent at it. We traded Saki’s random sparks of animation brilliance for overall higher production values, which only those crazy sakuga weirdos could see as a step-down. The new character designs and slight change in general artstyle were mostly well received as well, so everything was alright on the technical side of things. But the first important issue, the most important one according to many, became apparent quite soon; Achiga is, as a whole, one of the worst schools in the entire franchise. They range from a protagonist who barely qualifies as character to Kuro. Holy fucking shit Kuro. Having a really weak group of main characters would hurt any series, but it’s especially detrimental in Saki due to the vast cast. Leaving a strong first impression is really important when you’re surrounded by hundreds of similar characters, and that’s often achieved through the crazy magic mahjong skills that have become the emblem of this franchise. Considering Achiga only has two supernatural players with hardly impressive tile-hoarding skills, that’s not feasible in this case. Lacking any kind of interesting playstyle or distinctive character design you’d figure they’d rely on interesting backstories for them, but they’re mostly guided by the vague motivation that the one girl with huge boobs they used to know is now a famous mahjong player. The only resemblance of a properly developed background is Arata’s, and that’s mostly based on her… questionable relationship with her 20 years older mentor. I should also mention that her drive doesn’t necessarily involve any of her teammates, since she only intends to avenge her pedo coach and never actually met the girl who motivated everyone else to aim for the Nationals. And she’d be the one theoretically facing her if both schools reached the finals. Can you feel Achiga’s amazing chemistry already? You couldn’t come up with a more disjointed team even if you tried.

But despair not, those brave enough to bear with the soporific cast are rewarded with some genuinely gratifying rewards; as Achiga’s girls fade into the void they should have never left, some more interesting characters start surfacing, to the point the semifinals are focused on every school but the supposed protagonists. And that’s a great thing. This show manages to be truly engaging when the Nationals begin, offering some excellent games. And yet when it’s at its best, there’s another issue that makes itself clear. It’s a fundamental difference, not intrinsically negative but important nonetheless: Achiga-hen isn’t really aimed at Saki’s fanbase. Don’t get me wrong, it’s obvious than many of its followers were already fans of the franchise, but there’s still a pronounced shift in the intended demographic. The series isn’t being serialized on a shounen magazine for no reason, it’s written specifically for it. One of the main strengths of Saki has always been portrarying mahjong in a way that even people who don’t know anything about it would feel the tension and realize how amazing these girls are. And I feel that Achiga-hen still excels at that. However, the two big matches we’ve seen in the main series and the spinoff in 2012 show a very different approach to the game; while we saw Achiga-hen focus on Toki’s health and how she put her life on the line facing Teru, the main manga put much more emphasis on the way Saki played against equally dangerous opponents. It’s not like the nature of the powers is different (if anything Saki’s the one with the most ridiculous abilities, she’s the one randomly blowing things up), just that the way they’re used isn’t the same. Even on a thematical level that disparity is still present, with Achiga-hen having perseverance and hard work as its motto and the original being a circus of monsters with emotional scars they want to heal. I’d rather avoid the debate about which is the better style, but it’s important to take this into account when pondering why some Saki enthusiasts can’t really get into this spinoff even when it admittedly does what it tries right.

With that said, that’s not where most of the hate comes from. The reason a great deal of people have been reacting very violently to this series lately is less abstract, something much more simple: Plot armor. A degree of overprotection for the main team in sports manga is almost to be expected, so it’s the author’s job to make it as inconspicuous as possible. A good, simple way to do it would be establishing them as very talented individuals from the get-go, which is what Ritz did for Kiyosumi. First thing we know about Saki is that she’s a fearsome player with occult skills. Nodoka’s the middle school champion and Hisa fared really well in official tournaments as well. Mako played with mahjong tiles instead of Lego when she was a kid and Yuuki… well, she eats tacos and that makes her very strong for a while. That works too. On the other hand, we have Achiga’s group, mostly composed by people who haven’t played mahjong for years. And those girls, who were never very talented to begin with, somehow reach National level by training with one failed pro with dubious intentions for a while. They try to get away with it by barely showing them play mahjong (hint: you don’t want to do that in a mahjong series) but it’s still painfully obvious that they’re subpar players. As if that wasn’t enough, said pro coach somehow breaks all logic and rules by finding out the weaknesses of every opponent they face. Here’s the thing: research and tactics aren’t new to Saki. Ever since the Nationals started, every big school has shown a great degree of understanding of their rivals, even if we’re talking about a dark horse like Kiyosumi. There’s nothing wrong with that. But when you see one mediocre (ex)professional player beat the work of mahjong powerhouses supported by the elite, it gets a bit annoying. That in and of itself breaks the balance between schools, since Achiga is somehow the only school with access to that much information, but it could barely pass if she came up with reasonable strategies. Noticing a small twitch on one finger that’s physically impossible to see and that the 200 members of a massive mahjong club missed? Oh, come on. The problem here isn’t that the main school has a plot armor. The problem is that their armor is full of flashing neon lights and has pink dildos attached to it. Some subtlety would be appreciated, otherwise we’d get to the point where someone who pisses her panties just by sensing strong mahjong players could somehow find a flawless strategy to beat them. And no one wants that, right? Right?

At this point you should have realized that if there’s something Achiga-hen can get wrong, it most likely will. That means that the curse trying to ruin any Saki anime adaptation wouldn’t let this project get away unscathed. Imagine that you’re the producer in charge of the anime adaptation of some popular manga drawn by a rather lazy person. Would you rather wait until there’s enough material or rush it and hope for the better? Somewhere in this planet, there’s a person who thought the latter was the best possible option. And then it went wrong, with the anime adaptation catching up with the manga 6 episodes before its projected run and forcing Ritz to have a short arc that was planned for the manga as some sort of filler for the last episodes of the anime. The natural reaction here would be realizing that you’re dealing with an unreliable mangaka so you should be careful when planning projects that depend on her. And then it happened again. After wasting many episodes on the uneventful beginning of Achiga-hen, the anime caught up and even surpassed the manga as soon as the semis started. With the TV broadcasting ending just after the first game, people following the anime had to wait for months for the 3 extra episodes that were supposed to give it closure. But of course, not knowing how much more content Ritz would add, those 3 episodes had to turn into 4. And they ended being insanely rushed anyway. Saki’s anime managed to deal with its subpar planning decently, even if the last episodes did break the momentum, but Achiga-hen’s failing as hard as you’d expect such a messy project to.

I could go on this rant for much longer, complaining about how ridiculous it is that we’ve yet to see the protagonist play a game of mahjong when this is about to end or explaining at great length how Kuro would be Hitler if Hitler was a crybaby schoolgirl. However, I think I’ve made my point clear already: I love Achiga-hen. Even if it refuses to love me back. It’s the most blatantly flawed part of a silly franchise I’m fond of and it has entertained me a lot this last year, in spite of (and sometimes because of) all this crap. If you’re a Saki fan that for some reason skipped this, do give it a try. And when Achiga advances to the final, come help me burn down the entire planet.

Arranged in the order I played them, not release date, because you’re a piece of shit.

Grisaia no Meikyuu

Summary: Yo dawg this shit be hella tite. Da tale of how Yuuji became a real G to the A to the N to the G to the S to the T to the E to the R ‘n shiz. Michiru don’t take no shit y’all.

Voice Acting: As usual, impressive across the board. Kajitsu managed to nail a stellar lineup for all of the main heroines, and in Meikyuu we see Kawashima join to provide one of her rougher performances as Asako. You can actually turn off Aoyama this time around, too, which is always a blessing. Really, though, even going on two years later I can’t get over just how good the casting for the main heroines in Grisaia is. Shimizu nails it, Natsuno Koori nails it, Tamiyasu nails it, Mizuhashi nails it, Isshiki… well, honestly, she pretty much phones it in, but she’s Isshiki so it’s all right either way. Not like anyone likes Yumiko in the first place, so I’m willing to let that slide. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that Amane/Sachi/Makina/Michiru are kind of “defining” roles for their seiyuu, though, in terms of recent releases. I’m not a big fan of Natsuno Koori’s older voice compared to what she goes with for loli or kouhai types, but for the rest of them I’d say it’s pretty much exactly the sort of castings I’d like to see in the future as well. Again, strictly in terms of recent releases, mind you – these are all fairly veteran types we’re dealing with, after all. Anyway, Kawashima is probably not going to show up again, so I guess savor her in Caprice no Mayu while it lasts.

‘&’

Summary: Not as good as Ruitomo or Comyu but it was all right.

Voice Acting: All right so right off the bat we’ve got some double Mai action with both Gotou Mai (returning to the Ruitomo team after her role as Benio in Comyu – a jaw-dropping performance there, by the way) and Kadowaki Mai (her first appearance in a Ruitomo team game) providing distinct performances. Now, a word about Kadowaki. I love her, I really do – she’s one of the mains in Futakoi Alternative, after all – but let’s face facts, she’s probably never going to live up to her performance as Mare in Hoshizora no Memoria. That was some once in a lifetime shit right there, for real. Absolutely nailed everything about that character. Here, though, she’s the same Kadowaki as ever, with soft tones and an almost lackadaisical sort of drag to her voice that makes her immediately recognizable. In ‘&’ it fits the character and there’s nothing really wrong with her performance, and well hell she’s a pleasant voice to listen to after all, but I still can’t help wanting something more out of her, you know? As for Gotou Mai, though, her seemingly boundless vitality shines through in spades in her role as Urara, the main heroine. I don’t think it’s quite as good as what she did with Benio back in Comyu, but she manages to really sell the character and come across as totally natural the entire way. As for the rest of the characters… well, there’s no Fuurin this time around, so that’s some automatic time in the torture room, I’m afraid. Aside from that grave omission, though, the rest of the cast is pretty decent as well, with Akaneko’s seiyuu (I can never remember her name) being her usual self and Suwabe doing some nice work as the bro character. However, all that said, there is one really big problem with the voice acting in this game – the protagonist is partially voiced. And boy, do I mean partially. I’d be surprised if he had more than 100 voiced lines in the entire game. When it’s as random and pointless as this, why even bother? If you’re going to voice a protagonist, go all the way or don’t do it period.

Mahoutsukai no Yoru

Summary: The amusement park scenes made my PC lag.

Voice Acting: Well, there isn’t any, but let me just say this – if this ever gets an anime or something, I will only accept Nabatame as the voice of Alice. Casting anyone else will result in me actually reenacting the backstory of Horizon in real life, so Nasu should keep that in mind.

Muvluv Alternative Chronicles Vol. 3

Summary: I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Voice Acting: I only played TDA02 so I’ll only talk about that. Basically Ringorin, Kawashima, and Kimura Ayaka are all great in this and you should feel bad if you don’t like them. Well secretly I don’t really like Ringorin’s singing that much, but let’s keep that one between us and heaven. Anyway, Kimura has some particularly great scenes in this one, if I’m remembering correctly, so it’s worth checking out for that performance alone. Kawashima continues being a badass from Quebec (only in fiction is anything from Quebec allowed to be badass) as well. Marimo is Marimo. Also we get Taniyama Kishou playing some evil dude at the very end. And of course Takeru shows up again so I wonder if Yoshimune will sell his children to pay for Hoshi in the next installment or something. On top of all that, Hibiki is voiced now, a first for age, I believe. I can’t say I’m familiar with his voice actor, but he does a good job and fits the character, so it’s all good with me. This sort of game really needs a voiced protagonist, especially with how much Hibiki shows up onscreen, so I’m glad age went through with that decision.

Harumade, Kururu.

Summary: Some shitty nukige don’t play it.

Voice Acting: Man, Shimizu is just absolutely divine as Shizuka. This is exactly the sort of role she should be getting – her classy, almost reserved tone of voice is a perfect contrast to the ridiculous shimoneta and generally off-kilter lines that come out of Shizuka’s mouth, and she can of course handle the more emotional and serious scenes just fine since she’s quite experienced. Attention must be paid to Ringorin’s performance as Fuyune as well, however; she manages to keep up with the fast-paced, high tension humor with ease and nails the, ahem, other side of Fuyune’s personality too. Great choices in terms of casting for both of them, really hope at least Shimizu shows up in Sumikko’s new game as well. Kawashima I wasn’t a big fan of here, her character’s not that great compared to Shizuka and Fuyune and it’s kind of a bizarre role for her in general (a bokukko, come on). Serizono rounds out the cast but honestly I can’t stand her unless she’s going with one of her deep voices ala Yunyun in Ruitomo or such. Still though, two very nice performances complementing two very nice characters in this game so I was more than satisfied on the voice acting front.

Soukoku no Arterial

Summary: Children’s card games. Wow I am so funny and witty for coming up with that very original joke all on my own.

Voice Acting: Honestly I was kind of surprised by this one, since I thought the voice acting in Kamidori was fairly lackluster. Here, though, we have Kinta (I like her as long as she’s not voicing serious characters, fuck you), Arisugawa, and Ringorin all turning in some pretty nice performances. Ringorin’s role as Sayane especially kind of demonstrates her range in a way you don’t usually see, something I’m always a fan of. Also I suppose I’d be remiss not to mention that, uh, Aki from Baldr Sky is in this game and she voices Mirai and they are the same character and sound exactly the same and are written the same way. Mirai is more my type in terms of appearance though! Anyway there are some kind of bad performances from side characters and no male characters are voiced period, as is par for the course with Eushully, so I guess overall it’s not really that impressive.

J.Q.V

Summary: And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of Romeo.

Voice Acting: Holy crap turn it fucking off. I’m never listening to voices in a doujin game again. This is actually a really great game too so seriously just mute all of the voices because they really won’t add anything. God it’s almost painful the way the actors stumble over their lines, especially Mei’s. God.

Rewrite Harvest Festa!

Summary: Haha wow you actually get a scene for beating the uberboss with only Yoshino. Look it up on Nico seriously.

Voice Acting: Honestly, what do I even need to say? You’ve got Hanazawa with goofy lines to please the moebuta, Kitaeri doing her sexy voice (which she really needs to do more often – Sayaka in Madoka made me kind of hate her for a while until I played the original Rewrite and was won over by Akane’s sultry tones), and Saitou Chiwa just being an absolute monster like she always is. Well, admittedly, Saitou doesn’t really get a chance to shine here like she did in the original’s Kotori route (the only good part of that route, really), but she’s just so good at all times that it doesn’t matter. Nobody else could have pulled off Kotori. Nobody. Also, we finally get fully voiced Kotarou in this, which is always nice. His seiyuu is actually really great, too – his name escapes me at the moment, I believe he’s Ichigo in Bleach? Anyway, he’s clearly got what it takes to deal with Rewrite’s particular brand of humor, so I gotta tip my hat to him. Wish he were voiced in more than just Terra in the original game, though, for reals.

Furuiro Meikyuu Rondo

Summary: Man, here’s to hoping they patch up the console version. Could seriously be great.

Voice Acting: This game was made on quite a tight budget, and the voice acting makes that readily apparent long before the story structure itself does. The heroines range from bland to outright annoying and terrible, pretty much. I don’t have a single good thing to say about any of them; Mai was all right, but her character in general never left as much of an impression on me as it did on everyone else, apparently. Saki’s seiyuu does an okay job, but her speech pattern doesn’t require that much skill to work with, I don’t think. Kind of like Luna in Tsuriotsu in that regard. Oh, that reminds me, though – Saki, dear, 微か is read as かすか, not わずか. Given that her seiyuu misread such a basic word, there are probably other reading mistakes in the game but that was the only one I really noticed. Anyway the rest of the “heroines” are horrible especially the sacrifices screw them. There is a silver lining to all this, however – when the protagonist finally starts getting voiced (I won’t complain about partial voicing here because it works for plot reasons), it’s done so by Furukawa Tetsuto, one of my favorite male seiyuu, even if he doesn’t have as many roles as I’d like. Most people probably know him best as Aisaku in Schatten, but he’s been consistently cast as the male leads in the Steampunk series for a while now too. Anyway, his performance in Furuiro is actually really great and packed with emotion. It honestly kind of helped bridge the gap between what was going on in the protagonist’s head and my response as a player when the text failed to do so, and with not really that many lines overall either. I mean, yeah, it’s still obviously kind of a flawed character arc due to the way it’s presented, but Furukawa goes way out of his way to make the dude sound absolutely tormented in some scenes, and I think it works. So, good on him.

Novel Game no Wakugumi wo Kaeru Novel Game.

Summary: They’d better make a sequel.

Voice Acting: Ain’t none.

Tsuki ni Yorisou Otome no Sahou

Summary: Why does Navel have to make good games even without Jackson now? How am I supposed to make self-deprecating jokes about liking Navel if they’re actually good.

Voice Acting: Yuusei/Asahi needs. To be voiced. Needs. That is all. Otherwise, not really as bad as I was expecting from seeing the cast list initially – I still wish they had gone with more seiyuu from Oretsuba/Sekajyo, though, instead of tossing out a bunch of relative newcomers. Gogyou Nazuna is probably the strongest female performance overall, which shouldn’t really come as a surprise. Luna’s seiyuu is just okay – her tone of voice is pretty unique and works for the character, but her acting ability isn’t really up to par. This is fine most of the time since Luna rarely gets too emotional, but there are definitely a few scenes where I wanted something more out of her. Also, I seem to remember her misreading some compound, but I can’t recall what it is now, oh well. By the way, her seiyuu is Adele in Horizon as well. Crazy huh? Raven’s seiyuu from Oretsuba puts in the best performance in the game, lending a real strength to Aeon’s (admittedly over the top) lines without hamming it up too much in the process. Nice work there. But seriously, this is the definition of a game that needs a voiced protagonist… I was reading a 2ch thread the other day though where someone made a pretty good point – it’s kind of hard to find someone who can do a trap well without overlapping with other games. Like, Fuurin is already Tomo and Jun, Kiritani’s performance in Otome ga Tsumugu Koi no Canvas is still fresh in people’s minds, etc. You need some pretty hefty acting ability to pull off Yuusei/Asahi, too, what with how many times the text directly describes his voice and all… Either way, though, I fully intend on haunting Navel with all three ghosts and Jacob Marley until they make a voice patch for him.

Ourai no Gahkthun

Summary: Suddenly, kyonyuu.

Voice Acting: Let’s get straight to the point. Isshiki’s performance in this game is fucking miraculous. Neon is by far my favorite main “heroine” or whatever you want to call it in the Steampunk series, and that’s due in large part to Isshiki’s absolutely breathtaking take on the character. This is what a real pro sounds like, folks – she pours her heart and soul into every line and breathes so much life into the character that it’s unreal. At the climax I had to slow down and just listen to every line and take it all in because what Isshiki was doing just worked so fantastically. I think the voice acting in the rest of the game could have been better in some ways – there were a few too many overlapping castings and Notsuki Mahiru and Kawashima have both done far better work for the series – but Isshiki is so great that it doesn’t matter. Furukawa is no slouch here, either, of course, but seriously, Isshiki. She’s appeared in other Liarsoft games off and on, but this is her debut in the Steampunk series, and, boy, what a debut it is. Apparently Sakurai decides on which seiyuu she wants to voice any given character while she’s actually coming up with the character in the first place, so all I can say is that damn she chose well.

Okay well that concludes this joke of a post. I’ll have a full review up for Gahkthun at some point, but it’s doubtful I’ll do more for anything else from 2012. I’m working on Oretsuba and Dies irae reviews as well, bug me on IRC or Twitter or wherever to finish them faster. I promise they’re better written than this piece of crap.

2012, like all years, saw the airing of a great number of anime series. Several of them were pretty good, even great, which isn’t something I’ve been able to say about the last couple of years! I like to share my thoughts and views on anime from time to time, so I figured I’d create a quick write-up/review for everything I watched in 2012. Things kind of got out of control when I realized I had a lot to say about some shows, so I hope you’ve got a bit of spare time to read it all. Oh, and I’m a pretty opinionated fellow, so prepare to be irritated and angered by the opinions of some dude on the internet. Keep in mind that this dude’s a lawyer so he’s probably right.

Series I consider 7.5/10 or better are in italics. So without further ado:

WINTER

Milky Holmes s2
Unbridled non-euclidean horror unleashed unto the world in anime form. It’s like the goofy otaku-edged fun of s1 did a bunch of heroin and mushrooms and then used its own bodily fluids to scrawl episode outlines on a large pile of butcher paper while screaming incoherently about the spy satellites planted in its brain. It just gets worse and worse as the series goes on, culminating in one of the most bizarrely and unexpectedly repulsive arcs in anime I’ve ever seen. Ew.

Also I’m pretty sure that Moriarty’s seiyuu causes death in lab rats.

High School DxD
Hilarious over the top chuu2 fanservice done right. For god sakes the first villain is the protag’s ex-girlfriend who is secretly a demon trying to devour his soul! And then she gets a giant spider mouth vagina. It just gets better and more outrageous from there, until suddenly Issei is engaged in a mecha power armor battle with phoenix Koyasu. The series as a whole should be taken down a notch by the dull “main” heroine, but luckily for all of us the anime producers quite clearly have a hard on for Ashia and favor her in all aspects of writing and directing. There’s also a good amount of chemistry between Issei and Ashia to keep one engaged between the ridiculous fanservice and battles. Hopefully she continues to be favored in the upcoming second season. Anyway, this was actually one of the surprise standouts of 2012 disguised as a bad and generic fanservice series, and I’m totally hyped for s2.

Here’s what I had to say about DxD show when it was still fresh in my mind and emotions: “This show is basically about becoming 14 again in real life and it’s hilarious and awesome and I want a chuu2 arm and a cute Ashia of my own. Bestest ED sequence award. Other girls suck compared to Ashia though. I don’t really have much else to say about this except that Harem King is a pretty cool abbreviation.”

Holy shit I forgot that “Harem King” is the official abbreviation. Best show.

Symphogear
Hahahaha what a fucked up series this was. If you don’t know, this series was written entirely by Kaneko Akifumi, the person behind the Wild ARMS line of jrpgs. As an undying fanatic of Wild ARMS 2 I couldn’t help but be excited. For the first few episodes it seemed to deliver in the form of awesome action, impending yuri jealousy, and an intriguing heroine prone to fits of divinely powered berserking reminiscent of my old pal Lord Blazer. But then nothing ever came of any of this, as around the halfway point of the show something went terribly terribly wrong. The writing started going to the craziest places imaginable (not in a good way) and even the basic scene to scene progression and composition of individual episodes began to fall apart. Suddenly in the final episodes we had incredibly dramatic scenes of button pushing and…uh…whatever the fuck was going on with the tower of babel or whatever it was. Yeah. And to make matters worse, nothing the slightest bit interesting happened with Hibiki’s berserky nature. What an unfortunate end for a series with some genuinely intriguing elements laid out at its start.

Aquarion EVOL
Osore! LIVING YOUR LIFE DON’T GIVE UP NOW KEEP MOVING ON

Here we go, one of the heavy hitters of the year. If all you want is alternatively goofy and badass over the top super robo action with some awesome production and directing then you can’t go wrong here. But EVOL has much more to offer than that. Lively romantic couples fill the cast and bolster it with a spark of humanity so often lacking in more staid series. A tight thematic framework based on the relationship between human beings and the consequences there of, both good and bad, holds the show together. There’s a hand clap motif that can only be described as orgasmic (and don’t you fucking doubt this until you’ve seen it in action). And while the robo action is over the top and often goofy, there’s a genuine sense of danger and consequence to the conflict taking place. The series isn’t afraid to crash things down hard on its leading cast when the time comes. In short, there’s a great deal of weight at the core of this show holding everything together.

And for a short while it all works perfectly. Episodes 9-14 are by far the greatest episodes of anime I’ve seen in years. Impeccable directing combines with a brilliant bout of writing that perfectly marries natural character development with the underlying thematic framework to create a scintillating spark of love, courage, and hope in the face of a horrible tragedy. One can’t help but reference the first line of the show’s OP – copied above for your convenience – time and time again as these events unfold. And then, just when you’re sure it’s too much for even that bit of theme to handle, episode 14 comes along and makes your head explode with joy. The quality of these episodes is simply unbelievable.

Unfortunately these episodes also write a check that EVOL ultimately can’t cash. The sparkling clarity present in the show’s middle third suddenly vanishes as the writers reveal that they indeed have no real idea how to KEEP MOVING ON. Major characters brilliantly brought to life and pushed through gobs of painful development are suddenly relegated to the sidelines – unacceptable and lazy when one of the major messages of your story is not giving up and continuing to live your life no matter what it throws your way. The series’ fairly dull and lifeless main trio regains the spotlight while failing to undergo the same revelatory scale of development that made 9-14 so engaging and captivating. The pacing falls apart and over-arching plot seems made up as it goes along.

Now don’t get me wrong. The latter parts of EVOL still contain some glorious sequences, such as the fantastic DEAR MY BEST FRIENDS. EVOL always stays watchable, and the simple presence of characters like Fudou and the always snappy directing is all it really needs to stay entertaining. But as a whole the series never regains the luster it once had, and never pulls together the full bodied picture that 9-14 so cruelly titillates us with. In the end EVOL was still one of the best series of the year, but it could have been so, so much more.

Oh, and it’s unimaginably better than the hideous original Aquarion. Just had to get that out of the way.

Zero no Tsukaima F
Holy fucking SHIT this was bad. I mean. Holy shit. I guess this is what cancer does to a series. Good to hear that Yamaguchi is recovering though. I’d say more, but I’ve already forgotten a lot about this show and I can’t really rag on it too hard given the circumstances.

Nisemonogatari
Fuck all you noisy cockbags who won’t shut up about this shit.
(“Extremely good and unbiased review . . . A(dub), B-(sub)” – Anime News Network)

Ano Natsu de Matteru
Nagai Tatsuyuki is quite simply one of the most talented directors working in anime today. And it’s a good thing too, since NatsuMachi would have been completely unremarkable without his deft touch. He manages to make each and every cut of his shows engaging without clobbering the viewer over the face with his presence in the style of Shinbo’s eccentricities or KyoAni’s often inappropriate cinematic framing. The result is a show that is simply a very pleasant viewing experience if you are at all interested in the romantic drama that takes place within. Unfortunately, the characters can’t quite measure up to the production. The main couple is a complete bore to watch barring simple moments of genius such as eyeglass clinking. While Kanna is a more engaging character, she is inextricably and ultimately fatally tied up with the main couple’s borefest. The show’s saving grace in terms of writing comes from the carefully developed secondary relationship between Mio and Tetsurou. These two always remain engaging and alive even when the rest of the cast falters.

Ultimately this isn’t a terribly memorable show aside from the fantastic production and directing. Not much happens beyond a bit of romantic development. NatsuMachi didn’t stick around long in my mind despite its at times outstanding qualities, and in the end this may be its main problem.

Papakiki
Ok so one of the big problems with anime adaptations of light novels is awful, awful pacing. You always get people who want to look cool ranting about the dumb and/or childish content of LNs, but let’s get real. One of the reasons a lot of us watch anime is that we enjoy a good mixture of over the top dumbness along with whatever else we’re seeking in fiction and media. But LN anime as a whole are consistently ravaged by ludicrously slow pacing designed primarily to hook a new audience for the franchise and sell a whole lot of novel volumes. Unfortunately, this practice has proven successful. An insidious consequence is that pacing in LN anime is only getting worse. For a clearer illustration, my friend 7hs put together a chart showing the average number of pages adapted per episode of several popular LN anime series. There’s a clear trend of more pages per episode = better anime, with a sweet spot of ~65-100 pages an episode (fuck the Hidan no Aria haters). Not that this saved Index, which has some of the worst pacing known to man. But I digress.

So anyway Papakiki. The above rant comes in when I reveal that Papakiki was a full cour adaptation of a single volume of novel material. I trust that you can do simple math. And if you can’t, that handy chart clearly shows that Papakiki adapted a mind-boggling 14 pages per episode. The result is just as disastrous as you might expect. I mean, the concept of Papakiki isn’t terrible, though the main dude could stand to be a few years older for the whole surrogate parent/caregiver thing to really work with girls as old as Sora and Miu. But unfathomably glacial pacing poisons whatever might have possibly been created here. Awful elements of the show are dragged out infinitely, and good elements are dragged out to the point of no longer being good.

I guess I should mention that Sora is pretty hot and that Uesaka Sumire is pretty clearly the best newbie seiyuu of this year. I hope she gets some more real/non-joke roles soon.

Inu x Boku SS
I was turned away by all the overly loud otaku fanboying that just made the series look like an otaku pandering injoke sort of thing. But it stars Hidaka and I really fucking love Hidaka. I guess I should watch it at some point.

SPRING

Kore wa Zombie Desu Ka s2
OH MY GOD MAKE IT END PLEASE MAKE IT END. Take the first season and remove all the amazingly stupid plot developments and things that sometimes actually happen (and thus made KoreZon s1 entertaining despite itself) and fill the void with incredibly unfunny scenes of “comedy” and nothing happening forever. Easily one of the worst anime series I’ve ever watched to completion. Why’d I even fucking finish this? I sure as fuck don’t know.

It’s worth noting that the scene with the antagonist at the bonfire in episode 8 actually has some really stylish directing and production. Enough so that I still remember it despite the horrors of the rest of the show. For whatever value one cool looking scene has in a series of cosmic abominations.

Acchi Kocchi
I usually don’t do 4koma things. The complete lack of anything resembling a story or characters kind of gets to me, you know? But Acchi Kocchi made its gentle little premise work through the magic of careful, punchy directing and a unique, understated, but rhythmically engaging musical score. Unfortunately, nothing really happens throughout the entire run of the show despite more than a year passing in the series, and we never get any catharsis or satisfaction that might come from the main couple, well, actually going anywhere. But it was still an enjoyable watch. Of course, it was also a failure in terms of sales and will probably be banished to the pits of anime obscurity in short order. Oh well.

Sengoku Collection
There are two types of people in this world. The first loves Sencolle’s bizarre lack of any sort of structure and wildly experimental episode styles. The second wonders what the fuck is wrong with the first group because all the experimentation in the world doesn’t excuse the fact that very little of this creative energy actually works in any meaningful way. Perhaps it gets better as it goes along, but I don’t care to find out given the lack of continuing plot or characters. I’ll just say that the six or seven episodes I watched were amazingly dull and completely unimpressive in every way.

Natsuiro Kiseki
Now here’s a show with its heart in the right place. The writers could have easily thrown out the same sort of dull and lifeless characters/slaves to pandering directing that an apparent K-on clone might demand. Incredibly, they stuck to their guns and produced a group of surprisingly well rounded and lively girls complete with an actual bit of depth to their lives and inter-relationships! Unfortunately the writing, production, and directing varied wildly as the show went on. Quality bounced back and forth from fantastic highs (such as the Yuuka body swap episode, one of my favorite episodes of anime of the year) to banal lows (such as most of the entirely unengaging idol preparation subplot). I really, truly do appreciate a show that can set up its characters properly despite all odds, but in the end it’s really got to be more consistent than Natsuiro Kiseki to make it work.

Accel World
Ok so first off we’ve got HiME Team, the core staff behind one of the greatest anime series of all time that consistently produces series with high production values, engaging plot and character progression, and fine tuned directing that manages to really get the viewer into things without being at all obtrusive. Sounds like a recipe for success regardless of what they have to work with, right? Well let me tell you buddy that HiME Team don’t know SHIT about Kawahara Reki. Guy writes Sword Art Online like a boss and isn’t afraid of no thing. HiME Team ain’t shit compared to the dark soul sundering void created whenever Kawahara’s thoughts hit the proverbial page.

Ok so Accel World is about a chuu2 online fighting game. I can deal with that. Saki had awesome chuu2 mahjong which sounded impossible before it existed after all. Let’s just get some awesome fights and classic HiME team series progression and I think we’ll have a good time. Wait wait wait they’re gonna adapt only four novels to two full cours oh god that doesn’t sound like a good time. Hey these characters are actually kind of interesting I mean they have things like nuanced interpersonal relationships and hnnnngg Toyosaki’s performance in ep3 and oh wait never mind that shit kind of vanishes completely soon enough and Kuroyukihime is an incredibly boring Mary Sue. This pacing really ain’t helping matters but this fight with Takumu is pretty fucking baller so hell yeah and OH MY GOD HIDAKA HAHAHAHA I LOVE YOU HIDAKA holy shit this action at the end of the first cour is fucking awesome man, hell yeah. I mean this writing is fucking dumb and most of these characters fucking suck but fuck me if this doesn’t have some enjoyable elements. Ok second half of the show let’s get to some more cool action and more Hidaka and oh hi guy you look alright what’s your name oh it’s Noumi? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Then Okinawan lolis perform just enough CPR on you to keep you alive until the end of the show. Are they angels or demons? The world may never know. Oh and the final action scene is pretty fucking awesome, gotta give the show that.

Upotte!
<A friend of mine free from the tribulations of IRC and Twitter> don’t forget upote![sic]
Sure thing bud.

Fate/Zero s2
UROBUCHI SAVING ANIME DARKNESS GRIMDARKNESS GWARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR KAJIURA THRASHING SO AWESOME ALL MY FEEEEEELS FOR UROBUCHI PLEASE SAVE ANIME FOREVER YOU KNOW SO MUCH MORE ABOUT HOW TO USE THIS WORLD THAN NASU CAUSE YOUR GRIMMMMMMDAAAAARRRRRKKKKKKNESSSSSSSSSS FITS THE FATE SETTING SO MUCH MORE YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS *stabs self in head cause it’s such a grimdark thing to do*

Fake Saki
Saki is a pretty fucking cool series. You wouldn’t think that chuu2 mahjong would work, but director Ono Manabu (now helming the anime aspect of the Horizon franchise) handles the subject matter with such zeal and polish that fucking mahjong of all things becomes incredibly engaging. This combines with incredibly good character designs and mangaka Ritz’s ability to create an endless cavalcade of unique characters that remain memorable via carefully establish and managed roles vis-a-vis their place on their teams and their interpersonal relationships. Saki is easily one of my favorite series of the last few years.

So it seems a bit strange that Achiga falls so far short despite being written by Ritz and featuring the same staff as the original anime. The ultimate reason behind this is that the main Achiga school featured in this series is a horrible waste of time that’s clumsily and lazily shoe horned into the already blazing nationals tournament currently being held. This could be overlooked if the girls of Achiga were halfway decent, but they aren’t. They are, almost to a member, far and away the worst characters with meaningful screentime in the series. We’re supposed to root for them. We’re supposed to turn a blind eye to them continuing to win in contrived ways despite all odds (indeed, none of their members seem particularly skilled or magical in the vein of the entire rest of the cast of the series). But they are all so awful that we never ever want to see them do anything except die in a terribly tragic but entirely unavoidable firebombing accident.

That being said, Achiga finally picks up a bit of its spark once real opponents appear. The other three schools present in the main match of the series are supremely superior to Achiga in every conceivable way. Only when they finally get on screen does Fake Saki begin to create some of that same magic that made the original series such a joy to watch. The upcoming finale, pitting Awai vs Himeko, has me hyped in that classic Saki fashion.

But all this stuff happens after the series is already two thirds over. Saki anime team’s magic simply can’t save the terrible garbage that comprises the pre semi-finals parts of the show.

Sakamichi no Apollon
more like jazzboy bellhop

Eureka Seven AO
Oh my fucking god don’t ravage the wonderful completeness of E7 with horrible voice acting and all around unnecessary dreck.

Hyouka
Show sure has some good animation. Too bad about that painfully boring writing. On a random note I thought Satou Satomi was noticeably sub par in the few episodes I watched of this, but she really impressed me later in the year with her roles in K and Tales of Xillia 2.

AKB0048
Speaking of bad voice acting holy fucking shit don’t get random idols to try and voice things it doesn’t fucking work. Looks so dumb and goofy and Kawamori that it might actually be quite entertaining, but I can’t get past the awful voice work. Though random screenshots from the beginning of season two are tempting me to try again…

Haiyore Nyaruko
Nagasawa Tsuyoshi is an interesting dude. In 2010 he came out of practically nowhere to helm the superb first three episodes of MM! This small chunk of anime featured tight, spirited, frenetic directing that maintained a firm touch on the humanity of its characters and their emotional and physical needs despite the largely comedic tone of the S&M and androphobia portrayed within. Oh, and it introduced me to the wonderful and relatively new Hayami Saori in an unorthodox casting for Yuuno (I had actually heard her before in Sora no Otoshimono, but didn’t fully appreciate her performance in that franchise until I watched the second season). Unfortunately MM! fails to keep up this impressive showing, and after episode three it quickly loses track of its characters and their chemistry. It also loses the hectic yet tightly composed touch that made its early episodes such an invigorating watch. Everything enjoyable about the series simply vanishes, and it never really returns to form despite a few decent episodes later down the line.

Nyaruko showcases this same progression, except in a highly contracted and more extreme form. The first episode of Nyaruko is excellent. It sells its absurd presence through the power of fast paced, tight knit presentation that screams “yes I’m retarded and I’m god damn proud of it. Now watch and bask in my presence!” Once again an unorthodox voice casting is used for a lead female as Asumi Kana successfully brings unique life to what could easily have been the highly generic voice of Nyaruko. But this strong premiere is little more than a cruel cock tease. The remainder of the series quickly loses all of its spark and shine. The directing becomes tired and lazy, completely incapable of supporting the absurd nature of the not terribly clever jokes constantly thrown at the screen. The series never comes anywhere close to matching the quality of its sparkling first episode. There is a short chunk in the middle of the show that focuses on Nyaruko and Mahiro’s romance that I thought showcased some of Nagasawa’s latent directing skill, but most people I talked to complained that the romance was completely unfitting for the series. They’re probably right.

I’ve talked at some length about this series because Nagasawa is easily one of my favorite anime directors when he’s on fire. But the rest of the time he barely even begins to scrape the realm of mediocre. How can such a gap in quality exist? I have no idea. I just hope that someday he gets his shit together and produces an entire series at the apex of his ability.

ps don’t cast kitaeri as your lead male kthx

SUMMER

Tari Tari
SOSHITE
KAKEDASU TOBIKOMU KISEKI HE
MIAGERU TE WO FURU HIKARI HE
TOMARANAI KIMOCHI WO TSUNAIDE IKU
REFLECTIA

Jintai
I’m sorry, but I just don’t buy into the biting social commentary married to complete nonsense and supposedly soul crashing thematic underpinnings. That being said, the first arc was brilliant comedy in the way only Kishi can bring us. And the final arc touched on people and relationships with a great deal of tenderness and humanity, although this was marred by sloppy production and carrying some things out to an almost comical extreme. Perhaps this simply isn’t the series for me. If nothing else I think I’d appreciate the underlying themes and messages a lot more if they were more tightly wrapped up by ongoing narrative and characterization. Maybe the jumbled anime ordering carries some of the blame for this? I dunno, but I’m sorry Moogy-kisama-kusogami I’m going to have to continue to be a Romeo skeptic based off my experiences reading a badly translated eroge and watching a problematic anime adaptation………………………………..

Oh, and no capsule review of Jintai anime can be complete without mentioning Nakahara’s fantastic voice performance. See kids, this is what happens when you use talented old school seiyuu. Too bad most people just don’t give a shit and fap to Ogura’s awfulness endlessly. There’s always room to add talented new blood like Tomatsu, Hidaka, and Hayami to the ranks, and I’m cool with newbies with actual talent like Uesaka and Mimori getting a chance too, but for the love of god let’s get back to regularly using real voice talent in our anime. Voice acting matters, and it makes me incredibly disheartened to see more and more new series chock full of utterly no-name or proven awful voice actors while brilliant old school seiyuu like Nogawa steadily get pushed farther into obscurity. Not that ranting here is going to make any difference to the way Japan effectively targets and appeases the shitty idol seiyuu thrall. But nonetheless the world must know.

MuvLuv Alternative: Total Eclipse
Let’s get one thing straight. I did not enjoy Muvluv Alternative as much as the masses of eroge mind slaves. But I still carry a good deal of respect for the elements of the series that are undeniably done well, namely the immense weight it placed on combat and the portrayal of the lone soldier in the midst of a politically charged mission about which he knows next to nothing. Total Eclipse didn’t just brutally violate these facets of the MuvLuv franchise; it ruthlessly mutilates them while simultaneously creating one of the worst anime series imaginable when judged purely on its own merits. Awful characters, horrendous production values, plodding pacing, and outrageous fanservice written with no shred of the intelligence needed to make it appropriate for the setting combine into a rancid piece of shit unfit for consumption even by the beta themselves.

YuruYuri
A goofy comedy series about chuugakusei lesbians should be right up my alley. This is undeniable if you know me at all. But Yuruyuri commits the dual sin of awful voice acting for its main cast and not being funny in the slightest. It is a deadly combination. Though the secondary cast does actually have some decent names on it, so there’s that.

Moyashimon s2
Everyone ranted forever about how good the first series was so I downloaded it and watched a few episodes and it was extremely boring so I deleted it. The end.

NakaFuckingImo
There’s something to be said about a super trashy show that knows it’s complete trash and just runs far off into the sunset with it. And thus describes the gaiden of Kono Naka ni Hitori Imouto ga Iru. This show was fucking dumb. Its production (directing, art/animation quality, etc) was mediocre to bad. The voice acting was mediocre (even the always wonderful Hidaka was pushed into a grungy voice that she’s clearly not entirely comfortable with). The character development and plot don’t really make any kind of fucking sense.

But. But but but. At the end of episode three Miyabi and Konoe just kind of climb into Shougo’s bed topless. Out of nowhere. Just because. Then Rinka gets naked cause that’s what fake girlfriends do right? Sadly Mei only unbuttons her shirt, what a fucking prude. She’s pretty hot too and Hidaka Hidaka Hidaka. And the plot is an evil imouto conspiracy involving magical cell phones and hilarious evil secret agent Ogura who at the end of the show just goes “whatever, fuck you losers, bye.” The show’s so fucking ridiculous that you can’t help but get caught up in it all. If Nakaimo’s general production were a little better then it might actually be memorable. As is it was some decent fatty cheese to keep us all going despite the harrowing pale that SAO cast upon the land.

KoiChoco
In many ways this show is exactly what I wanted from Nakaimo – a criminally ridiculous series fully aware of its own inane posture but produced with slick directing and good production values. The directing in the early episodes is really quite impressive in the way it quickly and effectively establishes the relationships between the large cast and manages to keep everyone involved while things proceed at a breakneck and amusing pace. Unfortunately, KoiChoco lost track of things when it decided to get serious and plunge head long into awful family (and other) drama. The finale managed to get back on its footing with an outrageous situation resolved with silly developments, but by that point the damage had been done.

It’s worth noting that Chisato is a completely batshit osananajimi. I’m an osananajimi guy who finds this combination quite enticing. Moreover, some of the batshit insane Chisato drama scenes between Chisato and Yuuki were very well put together and central enough to the clearly laid out progression of the series and characters that they enhanced the series as a whole rather than detracted from the competent lunacy that the rest of the show pulled off well. Unfortunately, Koichoco never really does anything interesting with it in the end. But it was still nice to see. Also I got an osananajimi ending. I never get those. Yay I guess even though this wasn’t a particularly great one.

Dog Days
Did the unthinkable by having even less of a plot than the first season! However, it was saved by hilarious episodes and events involving the eiyuu group, particularly Adel and her maou boytoy. There were also some pretty badass action sequences along the way, not to mention Becky’s hilariously well animated and mildly orgiastic henshin. But basically a show where nothing happened forever and then everyone went home the end. So not exactly memorable. Oh and there were a lot of stinker episodes where none of the good things I just talked about actually happen. Now just to wait for Dog Days FetcherS!!!!!

Actually a new Dog Days series focused entirely on the eiyuu squad would probably be rad as all hell. It should take place in the past and they should fight super awesome badass battles against demons and monsters. Haha, who am I fooling. FetcherS is simply going to be a single fighting tournament/mock war featuring eight new characters and a bunch of fake fights between a couple of cool actual fights. Sigh.

Sword Art Online
Hoo boy.

Alright son so earlier I told you the sordid tale of Kawahara Reki. He sure did get himself into a darn hootin’ lotta trouble now didn’t he? Murdering HiME team in cold blood ain’t a very nice thing to do y’know. But ya can tell he meant well, what with Accel World’s vaguely nuanced characters at the start of its run and inspired electronica flavored soundtrack. But let me tell ya this straight son. Mr. Kawahara’s heart wasn’t so pure not too long ago. No, his heart was darker than the blackest pitch. You may point to Noumi and say “But Uncle Kefkef, how can it get worse than this?” Well let’s take a look and see. But first be a good boy and get your Unkie some of his opium.

Ahhhhhhhhh, that’s better. So let’s begin.

Long ago Kawahara was playing an MMO and thought “those fucking high level bastards. Hogging all the raids and phat loot and girls. Fuck them holy shit fuck them fuck them fuck them.” His rage was sufficient to undo the limiter placed upon him centuries ago by the great galactic council of archailects, and thus the universe was helpless to watch as Kawahara rage quit the MMO, put pen to page, and ushered forth a new dark age unto our world. His macabre art took the form of a vast, incomprehensible entity known by different names to different people. To some this malevolent godhead is known as “SAO.” Others carry deep fear for “ALO.” And legends tell of yet many more names attributed to this force of pure evil. Over the ages we’ve collected comprehensive data on this entity of fear from the mouths of researchers brave enough to peer into the void – typically shortly before taking their own lives, unable to cope with the realization that the universe is not just cruel and uncaring, but actively hateful. This is their tale. Remember it well son, for you must pass on the tale to the next generation.

We start with a man named Kirito. But he is no ordinary man, no properly sculpted fictional character. Indeed, Kirito is the super badass utterly better than everyone ever at everything Gary Stu hero of SAO. Kawahara, resentful of those higher level than him in an MMO, literally wrote a self-insert MMO novel about the coolest guy in the fucking universe – himself. Free of the constraints of an actual game, Kawahara was able to mold himself into the perfect, absolute MMO paragon of success. And that is all Kirito is, and all he ever will be. There is nothing more to his characterization than a dark recess into which Kawahara can transplant his sinister, ebony heart.

But it does not end there. No, the perfect MMO hero needs a babe. A beautiful babe who he gets to fuck. Oh man fuck yeah. So we’ve got Asuna, the Mary Sue companion to our Gary Stu. Perfect in every way, remarkably devoid of personality, and perhaps most importantly completely incapable of stealing any of Kirito’s lime light. After all, this is Kirito’s story bitch. Now get back into the kitchen and make Kawahara some fucking sandwiches. Eventually Kawahara realized that he…I mean Kirito could never be satisfied with just one bitch, so he added Sugu’s Sugus, Silica, and Liz. These characters had slightly more personality and liveliness than Asuna and Kirito. Indeed, the strongest of them – Liz – is almost tragic in the way that she is doomed to forever wander the forlorn SAO universe without hope of ever meeting anyone else more interesting than Silica. But we know she’s strong enough to carry on bolstered only by Silica’s genki Hidakaness and general hotness. But that’s a story for a different day.

Oh, but the dark monument of SAO was not created without contention. Indeed, a flight of the tenkai’s strongest angels and the makai’s most powerful maous fought bravely to twist Kawahara’s dark imaginings into a less toxic shape. At times their valiant efforts are evident. The fight versus the level 74 boss is a beautifully sculpted sequence of tension, excitement, action, and general balls to the wallsness that only angels and maous can create. But Kawahara did not take this assault lying done – no, he punished these warriors by wiping them out to a man, and then unleashing the entirely off screen SKULL REAPER battle upon the once innocent cosmos. The ensuring battle with Kayaba is an affair too sordid for even our brave researchers to repeat. The mere thought of uttering what they saw drove all to madness.

The tale then seems to acquire the light of hope as it transitions into the ALO epoch. The evil, dreary visuals develop a lighter, succulent hue, and a rebirth of sorts gives hope that Kawahara might have been moved enough by legions of brave warriors annihilated by his hand to turn over a new leaf and forsake his darkness. Oh, but this was just a new evil, more insidious than the last. For ALO wasted no time in resecting the small but vigorously living sections of SAO. The plot? NO MORE! The tension of a death game? NO MORE! The clever implementation of techno fantasy ala Liz and her smithing? NO MORE! The facade of light carried by ALO was clearly designed to lull the viewer into a false sense of security, leaving Kawahara free to further develop Kirito to new ridiculous heights of Gary Studom. Pick up some new chicks? No problem. Fight off everyone in the world? No problem! Beat the MOST POWERFUL MMO PLAYER EVER in a duel? No fucking problem! TURN INTO A GIANT MONSTER WITH NO EXPLANATION AND EAT A LARGE GROUP OF PLAYERS WHO HAVE NO MEANS TO FIGHT BACK? YOU’D BETTER BELIEVE THAT’S NO FUCKING PROBLEM FOR OUR MAN KAWA…KIRITO!

But the forces of good struck back with renewed vigor. Spearheaded by the indefatigable Koyasu, these armies attempted to scar Kawahara’s mound of darkness with inexorable traces of good. And they succeeded. Wonderfully hammy Koyasu, ridiculously good fight animation, and bright colorful visuals are proof that the universe did not sit idly by as Kawahara unleashed two years worth of gloppy frustration. Truly these were brave warriors, and we will sing songs of their efforts for eons to come.

But in the end it was not enough. SAO, sadly, exists. And this diabolical entity will almost certainly undergo a massive expansion in the future. Let us all hope that the forces of light rally back stronger than ever when this time comes.

Kyoukaisenjou no Horizon s2
Moogy already wrote like 2700 words about why this series is so awesome. Go read them and my response. But basically Horizon is fucking excellent and the best thing that aired this year. Though I gotta say that the the 9-14 segment of Aquarion EVOL is better than anything in Horizon. Except Horizon can actually follow through on its promises and is the better show overall so go fucking watch it already.

Nobuna
This show takes the Sengoku Girlz recipe and runs with it in a more serious fashion than most things. It’s also got really sharp production with art that is always on model with complex designs and lots of really fluid animation. Unfortunately, the directing is balls and idiotically abuses shaky cam and other tiresome and ineffective cinematic tropes. The plot progression is also nigh incomprehensible to those not well versed in sengoku history (i.e. people who don’t live in Japan) and the protagonist is a one dimensional doofus. But this all could have been forgiven had it not been for the blight that is Nobuna’s character. The lead female in this series – supposedly this universe’s version of Nobunaga himself – needs to be a gutsy, decisive and composed warlord. Certainly there is room for weakness in such a character, but ultimately we need to see someone who is capable of following through on her ambition to rule over all of Japan. Instead we get a sniveling ineffectual crybaby. Indeed, if there is one thing Nobuna does more than anything else in this show it’s fucking cry and cry and cry and cry.

There’s also an army of lolis and Hanbei (tempered somewhat by the nefarious Ogura) and some great performances by an irreverent Noto and the criminally underused by the industry Yahagi. In other words this show was retarded beyond reason but kind of fun to watch when Nobuna wasn’t crying. Could be worse I guess.

Kokoro Connect
In the abstract this series seems like little more than a group of five friends dicking around and dealing with the little quibbles that a mysterious paranormal force visits upon their lives. Yet few anime series have such a keen grasp of what makes their characters tick as Kokoro Connect. And it’s a good thing too, since at its heart (har har) Kokoroco is about how individuals relate to each other and bond despite being independent actors – and what happens when the lines between individuals blur just a little bit. The results are sometimes funny, often dramatic, and almost always gripping due to the strength of the character writing. The first arc in particular is solid gold that perfectly exemplifies the strengths of the series. And perhaps best of all, the series as a whole follows a subtle overarching narrative that comes together at the end of the final arc in a surprisingly satisfying way. I honestly wasn’t expecting that at all.

But not all is right in Kokoroco land. The series as a whole seems to lose some of its nerve halfway through the second arc when a substantial amount of dramatic weight vanishes into thin air in between episodes. The third arc is clearly rushed, with new characters and plot elements awkwardly jammed into the narrative only to have no real relevance to the greater overarching story. The fourth arc makes a couple of strange and uncomfortable decisions that don’t mesh with the thoughtful tone of the series at all. I mean really, did Kokoroco really need a generic dramatic kidnapping subplot? Come on now. The central love triangle, while resolved delicately and very satisfactorily, is presented so bluntly that it feels awkward when the show is actually in motion. And finally, the show as a whole revolves a bit too much around Taichi. Presenting each arc from a different “perspective,” starting from Taichi in the first arc and ending with Iori in the last arc, would have added a neat unique touch to the series and really driven home the events and conclusion of the show’s finale. Man the more I think about this the more I want to see it. I absolutely adore multiple perspectives in fiction, after all.

Finally, I gotta talk about the voice acting a little bit. While generally good throughout the series, Sawashiro consistently hits it out of the park (big surprise there). And Toyosaki’s break down in the penultimate episode is easily one of the best voice performances of 2012. Really good stuff here.

FALL

Chuu2Koi
Man, KyoAni. If only we could see eye to eye. Your ability to pump out series with extraordinary production values and great directing is something I could definitely appreciate, even relish. But it’s inextricably tied to extraordinarily bland characters and at times inappropriately over-cinematic presentation. KyoAni has shown little ability – or more likely willingness – to present characters who are anything more than cloying props to be used and abused in whatever manner necessary for the director and writer to extract a given emotion for the audience and/or create mimetic sequences and scenes. These characters have no agency from the technical production itself, no sense that they think, act, feel, and live on anything approaching a level that can be related to by human beings. For instance, there is hauntingly little to Rikka once one gets past the chuu2, cloying cuteness, and ham-fisted “dramatic” developments. The rest of the cast fares no better, such as Nibutani undergoing rewrites between episodes.

Now I could have forgiven all of this if chuu2koi stuck to its guns and assaulted me with all out chuu2 battle sequences and cartoonish comedy. Episode five is a great example of the series combining all the best elements in the show while avoiding its less savory aspects. Stick in a cute and uncomplicated chuu2 romance between the leads and you’ve got yourself a nice one cour series. I probably wouldn’t find it very memorable due to the thin characters, but at least it would be an entertaining feast for the eyes. Then suddenly, about halfway through the show, chuu2koi forgot how to have fun. And you can’t have chuu2 without fun. Thus the only thing left in the show was bad ham-fisted drama forced upon barely existent characters. Ugh, no thanks.

And yes, I agree that non-chuu2 Dekomori has a very nice design. The series would have been a lot better if the characters went between normal and chuu2 throughout the episodes. This would have made them fuller individuals and given the viewer a much better idea of what’s really going through their heads at any given time. Though I guess this wouldn’t have saved Kumin or Nibutani, so maybe not. Eh.

Hayate no Gotoku
I could probably write a long rant about the soul sundering abominations this series set loose upon this world, but I think I’ll pass. Surely everyone who still gives the slightest shit about the Hayate franchise watched at least the first couple of episodes and witnessed the vileness for themselves. In hindsight, I suppose that an awful anime original Hayate series isn’t terribly surprising given the never ending dreck the manga’s mired itself in.

So instead I’ll take a moment to gush about Iguchi Yuuka’s performance. I didn’t really think much of Iguchi prior to Hayate. She’s got a cute distinct voice and has been in a bunch of stuff, but she’s never really impressed me. Turns out she’s pretty incredible when she wants to be, as her performance as new character Tsugumi can only be described as ebullient. She manages to infuse Tsugumi with all the life, energy, and edge so utterly lacking in the rest of the this production. She made me sit up and take notice, and I’ll be looking forward to her next major role now. To be fair, she didn’t keep this performance up beyond the first few episodes. But who can blame her for getting lazy when working on this muck?

Busou Shinki
They’re. Fucking. 15. Centimeter. Dolls.

Little Busters
The best episode of this show so far is the one where everyone is running around the school just being their goofy selves during a fairly generic kimodameshi setup. This episode had a key anime ingredient sorely lacking from the rest of the show – narrative focus. There was a clear idea, a clear point driving it from beginning to end. Most of the rest of the show, in comparison, is barely more than a random assembly of scenes connected on only a theoretical level. But that’s not all The entire series is also beset by poor production values and confused, ineffective, and niggardly directing. In short, Little Busters looks like shit. This is simply not acceptable – not when every other Key adaptation in recent memory has been produced by KyoAni. The only bright spot in this mess is the wonderful BGM. These wonderful compositions, taken directly from the original game, successfully give the hollow scenes in this series a facade of meaning and emotion. If only I could classify their impact as anything more than a facade!

In fact, just to drive the point home, I’m going to talk a bit about a vaguely similar 2011 anime series: Hoshizora no Kakaru Hashi. Both are anime adaptations of eroge featuring fairly generic high school harem setups with a colorful female cast. Little Busters certainly carries more prestige than HoshiKaka, but the truth of the matter is that only the segments of LB written by Maeda (essentially just the final route, i.e. nothing covered by the anime thus far) are particularly well written. But while LB falls flat on its face at every opportunity, HoshiKaka gelled into an entertaining if unambitious romp via the power of capable production and directing combined with a whole lot of energy and the world’s most hilarious anti-imouto. But the moral of this story is that HoshiKaka is not a particularly great series. It’s maybe a step above mediocre, and I tilt generously with these type of shows. But HoshiKaka was a much, much better show than Little Busters could ever hope to be.

Why the hell did I just talk about HoshiKaka in 2013. I don’t know the show kind of struck a chord with me and I never really got to talk about it ok. Blame it on Koyori. And the fucking hilarious extra episode.

ps don’t cast horie as your lead male kthx

Sakurasou
Alright, let’s take the old dormhouse romcom setting and spice it up with a cast of talented and productive artists supported by thematic underpinnings concerned with the connection between artist, art, entertainment, and simply living a happy life. Sakurasou is supportive of the art inherent in all entertainment (an incredibly positive stance that all things should take) and the satisfaction that comes from simple acts of creation of any kind. Seriously, just take a close look at the 1:10 mark of the OP to see all of these ideas come together. Surely the show itself is produced with just as much clarity, right?

Hahaha
hahahahghahahaha
ahahhahaha
hhghhaahaahaaaaaahahhhhhahaha
haaaha
hahahahhahaha

Right. So all that shit up there is a wonderful piece of thoery. It’s the description for a show I’d really like to watch, and it’s the description for the show that Sakurasou really wants to be. Instead Sakurasou is like that incredibly annoying compulsive liar you had to deal with back in high school who told you all about how Goku goes super saiyan 8 in later episodes of DBZ shortly before Trunks becomes ruler of the universe (oh man how’s that for clearly showing off my age). In other words completely full of shit, a face only his mother could love, and smells like rancid gym socks to boot. Oh, and he also has one of those incredibly irritating nerd voices. Kind of like mine except 100% less sexy. I originally had a long paragraph here explaining this analogy, but that’s far too much effort for Sakurasou so I’ll leave it at that. By the way the voice acting in this show is mediocre to bad, just in case that wasn’t clear. Especially Aoyama’s seiyuu. This is important enough to state clearly.

But if you ignore all that then you can get some nice hair porn. Man I like hair porn.

Garupan
Let’s go back in time to the start of 2012′s fall season. The previews showed us some dumb series about girls and tanks. Everyone was unsurprisingly unreceptive. But then it was actually kind of alright. Miho’s latent badass charm took over the tank battles, and the ludicrously silly setting pulled itself off with a touch of carefully crafted charm. Add in decent production values (with occasional bursts of nice character animation) and pleasing directing and you’ve got yourself a nice bit of light entertainment.

But that’s all that it ever was. Garupan is not, will not, CAN NOT reach the same lofty heights as the outwardly similar Saki. Everyone’s favorite mahjong series finds success in introducing and developing a large group of colorful and distinct characters that remain memorable via careful use of roles and relationships. Thus, we form emotional connections to the cast and care about them when mahjong battle time comes. Garupan, on the other hand, takes the far less celebrated approach of shotgunning a massive group of indistinct blob characters at a wall and hoping they stick (they don’t). I was barely capable of keeping track of anyone outside the main team, let alone care for them.

Garupan’s tank battles also suffer. While the first couple were pulled off well, after those the writer takes the lazy and suspension of disbelief testing route of increasing the odds to truly ridiculous degrees. For god’s sake, Miho’s team is outnumbered 2.5 to 1 for the final two battles! It’s fairly clear that the Garupan writer struggles to create a continuing series of tense, exciting, escalating, and varied tank encounters. The tank porn aspect of the series ends up limiting it, as really tanks aren’t much more than big moving guns. Not exactly the most compelling thing in terms of narrative combat. Some might say that Saki “cheats” in this area by leveraging constantly changing chuu2 powers to make its mahjong exciting, the truth is that Garupan simply fails to come up with any good way of imparting a similarly engaging feeling on to its tankinating.

In short, Garupan does have a bit of charm. However, I have no idea why everyone not only loves it so much, but in fact screams about it in louder and more obnoxious tones with every episode. At the very least I can take solace in the fact that the long break before the final episodes materialize will cause me no pain.

Seitokai no Ichizon
I don’t think this actually exists.

Teekyuu
oh my god shut the fuck up

Strike Witches Movie
7hs reminded me that this exists. Fuck 7hs. Anyway this movie contained some cool stuff, like the awesome Erica sequence that seemingly comes out of nowhere (Nogawa love forever). But by and large it was about worshiping Yoshika, the greatest Mary Sue of this anime generation. I honestly forgot just how blatant her Mary Sue perfection became in season two. Probably because I purged most of s2 from my mind. Oh, if only it could have stayed that way. Here’s to hoping that spiritual successor Vivired has a slightly more subtle approach to its characters and powers.

Psycho-Pass
*thrashes guitar made from the darkness inherent in his own flesh, shoots self in head with gun to try and match the philosophical mastery of the great anime savior Urobuchi, gun doesn’t fire because he’s not a criminal, gives up and goes out to rape people in a futile attempt to live up to the anime messiah’s legacy*

Speaking of Urobuchi: guys, his name is Urobuchi Gen. That’s Japanese name ordering, so the first name is the surname. In other words it’s respectful and appropriate to refer to him as “Urobuchi” during normal discourse and discussion of his works. Don’t fucking refer to him as “Gen.” How the fuck did that even start? Yes, I know that “Urobuchi Gen” is just a pen name, but that doesn’t matter in the least. You didn’t refer to Mark Twain as “Mark” when discussing Huck Finn in your literature class, now did you? Please start acting like civilized human beings when you feel the need to mention the guy. Thank you.

K
Let’s take like seven different LN writers and tell them to write a 13 episode anime series together. They’re gonna compose a super chuu2 series with a complex plot and gobs of different characters. Now I like well done chuu2 and don’t mind schlocky LN premises. But if that doesn’t sound like an incomprehensible disaster in the making to you then I think you need a crash course on what typically happens in collaborative fiction writing. But somehow, against all odds, K pulls it all together. Instead of constant exposition we get a complex story actively delivered bit by bit until it all finally comes together at the end. Instead of dull chuu2 power lectures we’re just asked to let the show run with these characters being chuu2 overlords. I’m all too happy to oblige when the result is as badass as Mikoto letting loose and as self-aware as the planet throwing “battle.” We’ve got a cast of diverse, animated characters ranging from punky gang members to kooky students to everyone’s favorite wagahai-chan. And all of these elements are bolstered by surprisingly witty and engaging dialogue.

Production ranges from decent to good to excellent, though in classic GoHands fashion the production values show a general decline throughout the course of the entire series. The directing can be kind of weird, especially in the first and final episodes, but even then it never fails to establish the stylish edge that pervades the series. There are a lot of badass fights featuring clear, exciting, and fast paced choreography. Voice acting is universally excellent; there’s clearly a very capable voice director squeezing every drop of talent out of the K’s accomplished cast. Of particular note are Satou Satomi’s delightfully zany Kukuri, Fukujun’s irritated and punkish Misaki, and Miyano Mamoru’s wonderfully outrageous Fushimi. All of the voice acting is great and really brings the series to life. I really, really wish that more shows featured voice acting of this caliber.

Oh, and this is also one of the gayest otaku oriented shows I’ve ever seen. Why don’t the fujoshi love this series? The world may never know.

It’s not a perfect series by any means. Several clunker episodes drag the series down at the midpoint, it values style a bit too much over substance, and the focus wavers erratically between the different groups of characters. But I’m still hype as fuck about the upcoming second season. I hope it features chuu2 king Kukuri :E

VOICE ACTING ADDENDUM
Man I love good voice acting. It really brings characters, and subsequently a series as a whole to life. So while I’ve already talked about some of 2012′s notable performances in the above never ending wall of words, here’s a quick run-down of all of them in one place:

- Nakahara Mai strutting her stuff and showing off her old school talent in Jintai. Her brilliant timing was central to the humor of the first couple of episodes, among other things.

- Iguchi Yuuka in Hayate proving that she is capable of a remarkably edgy performance that’s complimented by the permanently sweet tone of her voice. I’m really looking forward to hearing more of her now.

- Toyosaki Aki raising a storm in Kokoroco 16. While Toyosaki doesn’t yet have the strength to deliver a super powered performance for each and every line in a series, she’s really among the best when it comes to blowing away particularly emotive sequences. See also: Accel World 03.

- Saitou Chiwa dominating the universe as Kimi in Horizon. Easily one of the best voice actresses in the business today.

- Arai Satomi casting aside years of living under the oppressive pale of Kuroko to deliver a unique and non-joke performance for Fake Saki’s Kirame. So nice to see her back to a serious role, especially since she debuted with the crazy role(s) of Kozue way back in Mahoraba. Subara deshita yo~~

- Satou Satomi realizing the lovable, screw-loose, silly headed Kukuri in K. Her efforts transformed what could have been a generic schoolgirl into a unique and memorable character. She’s definitely one to watch in the future.

- Sawashiro Miyuki’s gruff yet feminine Inaban in Kokoro Connect. I feared we might just get Sawashiro’s detached and haughty voice, but instead we got a nuanced, emotional and weighted performance that cared about every single line. Sawashiro is another of the absolute most talented in the industry today.

- Tomatsu Haruka’s stupidly hyperactive and girly Yuuka in Natsuiro Kiseki. Tomatsu never ceases to amaze me with her incredible range; I didn’t even know she could do a voice like this! I hope to hear it in use again in the future.

- Noto Mamiko’s comically haughty if minor role in Nobuna. I could have listened to that all series. Now I kind of want to hear Noto voice a spaceship in SoraKake s2 (coming shortly after the Mai HiME movie).

- Asumi Kana providing a unique and unexpected vocal tone for Nyaruko. This character could have easily come off as bland and boring with a more standard voice. I’d like to see more successfully unorthodox voice castings in anime, although it’s all too easy to end up with a horrifying miscast instead.

- I guess Taketatsu was pretty good during Sugu’s breakdown near the end of SAO. People will get mad at me if I don’t mention this I’m sure. She was a really fucking weird casting for Sugu though and I’m not a big Taketatsu fan in general.

- Nazuka Kaori making me hnnnggg endlessly in the Nunnally in Wonderland special. Oh my god I love her sweet mellifluous voice. Why can’t I hear it more ;_;

- Hidaka Rina is my modern go to for super sweet and well acted voice work, but this year saw her cast in roles built around a sweet facade with an underlying grungy element. While good for a hilarious joke, Hidaka is clearly not comfortable at this grungy low range. It fails to highlight the strengths of her voice and her acting. Hopefully 2013 brings some more serious Hidaka castings to fill the void in my soul.

- Nogawa Sakura, my favorite seiyuu of all time, managed to both exist in 2012 and be completely unremarkable! Well, I can’t blame her for giving zero shits about Total Eclipse. And the Strike Witches movie did contain some classic Nogawa noises unlike anything I’ve heard since Mana Khemia. Man I hope she gets a real role again at some point. Ever. ;_;

You may have noticed that all the voice acting above features female seiyuu. It’s true, I’m pretty heavily biased towards female voice work. But that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate awesome male voice work as well. For example:

- Miyano Mamoru losing his shit for each and every line of K. I mean holy shit.

- FukuJun cutting loose with his inner gangster as K’s Misaki. The FukuJun vs Miyano sequences in K are the stuff of legend.

- Koyasu Takehito’s enthusiastically hammy Sugou. He alone realized the ludicrously high level of cheese and ham necessary for any given element of SAO to work, and he fucking ran with it.

So that’s it, 2012 in a nutshell. A very, very large nutshell. Not a bad year for anime over all. At least one good show aired every season, and in most cases multiple good shows. Easily the best year for anime since 2009′s NEEDLESS/Saki/Seizon/SoraOto s1/Kampfer/Regios/Sorakake onslaught.

I enjoyed writing this, even as it quickly got out of control and became far too long for any human to read. Perhaps I’ll start writing up similar reviews on a quarterly basis to save us all a bit of time. It would also have the benefit of letting me write about series when they are still fresh on my mind. You’ll notice that I have progressively more to say about a show the more recently it aired. Then again, we all know how good this blog is at updating regularly.

Here’s to hoping that 2013 treats me at least as well as 2012!

Over the past few years, I must admit that I haven’t really watched many anime series to completion. Ever since I got serious about learning Japanese and started reading eroge extensively, anime as a medium has kind of lost its luster for me. Perhaps this speaks to my own predilection for written works over visual ones, perhaps anime has simply been in a slump, or perhaps it’s a combination of both. Whatever the reason, I now find it rather difficult to actually finish watching an entire anime series; I haven’t stopped watching it completely, but I’m at the point where I’m probably only finishing two or three series a year. Now, to be clear, I’m not saying this is necessarily a good or bad thing, I’m just kind of outlining the context necessary for my next statement to have some sort of weight behind it.

Anyway, for the past several months I have been hounded rather relentlessly by several acquaintances who have been more or less begging me to watch Kyoukaisenjou no Horizon, the divisive (to say the least) light novel adaptation by Sunrise that’s made some serious waves over the past year or so. I finally got around to watching it last week, prompted along by my esteemed LP partner Kefit, who also began watching it around the same time. To cut to the chase, I watched all 26 episodes currently available in the space of four days and loved absolutely every minute of it. I honestly had no idea that anime could still be this good. Obviously, a lot of the credit has to go to the writer of the original, Kawakami Minoru, but the team that Sunrise put on the series really went above and beyond to make it work as an anime on any number of levels and the end result is something that I feel comfortable lavishing praise upon regardless of medium.

What, then, elevates Horizon to the assuredly lofty position of winning my approval? Honestly, it’s hard to boil it down into a single, all-encompassing statement. There are definitely stand-out elements that set Horizon apart from the pack, so to speak, but, more than that, it’s the way that everything comes together and works in tandem. The series is clearly extremely well-constructed, with attention paid not only to setting details but to character development and the direction the writing should be headed at any given point, and I think it is this sense of general cohesion that makes Horizon stand out for me, especially in today’s market, awash with generic light novels with no effort put into the storytelling. To put it another way, Kawakami clearly cares about the story he’s telling and how it’s being told, and the anime staff have done their damnedest to bring his vision to life faithfully.

I suppose this sort of critique of the show may come as a shock to many, since on the surface Horizon seems to be a rather absurd affair, crammed with tropes to the breaking point and founded on a setting no one could ever possibly hope to understand – at least, that’s what you’d think if you lent an ear to its many detractors. Honestly, though, if you actually watch the series, you’ll see that it deftly avoids the usual pitfalls associated with the sort of story it is telling; though there is a high barrier to entry, the setting remains relevant and accessible, while the rest of the series is approached with enough intelligence to make elements that would be tired in the hands of another creator feel fresh and stimulating – and this isn’t even getting into the really unique parts that help Horizon carve out its niche, like all of the explosive (alternatively figuratively and literally) political and economic debates. I have to say that nothing in Horizon ever felt stock to me, and I have to question if the people who complain about it being a bag of cliches have ever actually even watched the show. I certainly don’t know of anything else that can make propositioning a trade alliance quite so gripping or make the character in question come across as a huge badass in the process, at least.

Similarly, I know there are a good deal of people who find the battles and powers depicted in Horizon absolutely unconscionable, but I honestly don’t know why the mere presence of over the top chuu2 abilities makes the series impossible to take seriously; it is always careful to inject levity when a scene needs it, and on a more basic level, the fights in Horizon are just damn cool and presented with a gripping pizazz and flair that I find lacking in battles that do not feature a wide range of abilities and fighting styles. The way I see it, getting creative with fights and playing around with the setting in clever ways in the process results in something substantially more interesting to watch than a straightforward brawl or easily understood beamspam. Not that Horizon doesn’t have some more visceral fights as well, but they’re complemented by the chuu2 powers, aerial battles between massive battleships, and intense verbal standoffs. There’s a lot of variety to be found in Horizon, in terms of fights or simply storytelling in general, and I think writing the entire series off because you can’t appreciate Shakespeare summoning giant mecha King Lear for the wonderful chuu2 that it is is doing yourself a disservice more than anything else. And if I have to be really blunt, Horizon really isn’t even that chuu2 overall. It has crazy powers and a lot of fights, but that’s really about it – I’d classify the series as a whole as some sort of wonderful science-fantasy political RPG quest rather than as a chuu2 fight extravaganza, especially since a lot of the fights are indeed more akin to the sort of thing you’d see in a more normal anime to begin with. More than that, though, I’d just like to state definitively that chuu2 powers and extremely over the top battles don’t preclude a work of fiction from having substance and depth! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with including cool, entertaining elements in something that’s meant to tell a serious story, especially if you utilize them to lend the fight scenes a weight and relevance they might not necessarily possess otherwise. Point being, you want to dismiss Horizon for having chuu2 fights, you’re going to have to start dismissing Fate/stay night and a whole lot of other stuff along with it, and I bet most people aren’t prepared to do that.

Next up I’d like to discuss the excellent character writing and meaningful dialogue in Horizon, which is probably the part of the series that I find myself with the most admiration for. Kawakami, unlike so many authors working in otaku fiction (or hell, fiction in general), clearly has a concrete plan for the series and where he wants it to head, a fact which becomes extremely apparent when you examine the relationship between Toori and Horizon, especially Horizon’s characterization over the course of season (volume) two. Without spoiling too much, just the fact that the title of the series, Kyoukaisenjou no Horizon, is relevant to the characters and their actions alone is quite stunning; I was fully prepared to believe that it was an essentially meaningless title picked only to sound cool, but the events of episode 12 of season one manage to work it into the plot in a really genius way. In a niche where almost all titles are haphazard, hastily dashed-off affairs, I must say  that the fact that Kawakami bothered to give his work a meaningful title really impressed me. The good writing doesn’t stop there, however; he maintains the dynamic of Toori and Horizon’s relationship even after their initial agreement, and honestly you have more development for their relationship in each individual scene they get together than in the entirety of most series that revolve entirely around romance, thanks to careful plotting and dialogue that actually operates with some subtlety. Horizon’s character growth in season two is also exquisitely woven into the main plot progression, with her acquisition of greed really being built upon the conclusions she had already come to herself (instead of the author just dumping it on her), conclusions that tie together with season two’s message of “Save you from anything”; the whole thing really struck me as an excellent bit of plotting, managing to guide Horizon’s growth as a character in a unique way while working it into the story as a whole at the same time. Even outside of the main relationship between Toori and Horizon, the series is filled with very clever bits of writing and neat dialogue; it’s not a harem, so there’s a lot of focus on the romantic escapades of various couples throughout, and I think Kawakami really manages to sell all of them. I particularly liked the dialogue between Tenzou and Mary pertaining to scars – it’s just abstract enough to feel nuanced without exuding the dreaded stench of melodrama. Suffice to say, if you like proper (huge emphasis on this word) character development and couples you actually feel like rooting for, then you should definitely check out Horizon.

Finally, I guess I should discuss the setting. For better or worse, Horizon has an extremely complicated background setting, with hundreds (perhaps thousands) of specialized terms and organizations to remember and in general quite a lot of concepts to take in at once. I’m not going to lie, the barrier to entry is quite high; even with the aid of a Japanese wiki and the term explanations on the anime site, I don’t think I really had a full handle on the setting until more than halfway through the first season. This is probably the biggest reason people drop Horizon after the first episode or don’t give it a chance to begin with, and honestly there’s not much I can say if you are really opposed to the idea of having to pay attention and keep track of setting details while watching anime. I would, however, argue that it’s nowhere near incomprehensible; once you know the basic situation and Musashi’s position in the world, it’s really not that hard to follow. The anime does skimp on some details from time to time, which can be a little annoying (and is my main complaint with the adaptation in general, even if it was unavoidable given the amount of content they were working with), but I feel confident in stating that you should never be completely lost with regards to what is happening and what the characters are trying to accomplish as long as you pay attention. Horizon also goes out of its way to reward the viewer for paying attention, I feel, with a lot of really fascinating political intrigue that you’ll be hard-pressed to find elsewhere – I’m aware my propensity for such affairs is likely not one shared by many others, but I can’t help the fact that I found Masazumi’s debate with Elizabeth to be the most compelling part of season two! More than my own sick proclivities, though, I think Kawakami does a good job with managing the setting and not allowing it to take the forefront; the characters have a main goal that is defined by the setting, but in the end they’re working toward it of their own free will and the setting is really just a way to depict things in a more interesting way throughout. Admittedly, I do have a thing for overblown settings and somewhat of a tendency to, as they say, sperg out over them, so perhaps you should take my statements here with more than a few grains of salt.

Ah, yes, I should briefly touch on the anime as a production, since this is a rant trying to get you to watch the show, not read the novels. Put simply, it looks fantastic at all times (especially the fights), has great voice acting (well, other than Kotobuki Minako as Gin – I don’t think she’s quite up to the same standard as the rest of the cast, to be honest), and sports a killer soundtrack. Ono Manabu and crew do an excellent job with cramming a ton of content into each episode without overwhelming the viewer (too much), and the fact that the director and writer both worked on Saki shows in the way they manage to deal with the huge cast of characters. Seriously, more happens in a single episode of Horizon than in a volume of your average light novel or what have you, and each individual arc of episodes in either season could easily fill a cour or two in lesser anime. That’s another point that works in Horizon’s favor in a major way, as far as I’m concerned – shit actually happens! Shocking, I know.

I’m not even going to comment on the character designs. Some of the girls have big tits. Oh no. If that’s really putting you off from watching the series I’m not even sure what to say. There’s honestly barely anything that qualifies as fanservice, so…

Anyway, I’ve rambled on enough. Do yourself a favor and grab the first season of Horizon and watch it all the way through. Use as much or as little outside help as you want – from what I understand, the subs should have enough translation notes to suffice even if you don’t look anything up outside of the show, but I haven’t watched them myself. If you really, truly find nothing to like, if even the brilliant dialogue and thematic writing in episode 12 do nothing for you, then you can feel free to stop there. But I think if you actually watch the entirety of the first season, there’s a pretty good chance you won’t be able to stop yourself from blowing through season two as well. I know the internet definitely gave me the wrong impression of the show before I started watching it, so I’m guessing there are others out there who will love it if they give it a chance too. It’s good stuff, seriously.

To the point where I’ve spent 10000 yen on acquiring volumes 1-4 (each divided into multiple parts) of the novels already! (Volume 5 is sold out everywhere, so I’ll have to pick it up later.) Yes, I am crazy for wanting to read those massive things. No, that won’t stop me. I’m hyped for the PSP game as well, which isn’t your usual lazy LN game adaptation; the game company Kawakami works for actually made a full RPG based on Horizon under his supervision, and it looks pretty damn fun for fans of the series. Just another example of how Horizon is head and shoulders above the rest! Okay this will turn into fanboy rambling if I continue further so let’s stop here.

PS: I’m not one to usually worry about ~gender roles~ in anime or anything, but I have to say it was a bit novel to see a lesbian relationship handled like any other one would be. I’m pretty sure Nai-chan and Gacchan’s relationship is pretty much unique as far as bishoujo stuff goes, in that it’s not played for laughs, a one-sided affair, essentially stalking, or otherwise swept under the rug in some way. Here is a long and stupid conversation I had about the subject with my IRC cabal, assuming you enjoy reading long and stupid things referencing anime that aired in 2004.

10/26→11/22 Yin-Yang! X ChangeEX(CROWD)
10/26→11/22 『彼氏いない歴＝年齢』じゃ、どうしてイケナイのよ！？(裸足少女)
10/26→11/22 魔王と踊れ！ CODE:ARCANA(catwalk)
10/26→11/30 この世界の向こうで(オレンジエール)
10/26→11/30 ヒミツのオトメ(Etoiles)
10/26→12/21 ミライセカイのプラネッタ(りぷる)
10/26→未定→11/30 NEWデブプラスもっと！デブトピア(わるきゅ～れ)
11/22→11/30 キスベル(戯画)

月に寄りそう乙女の作法
Navel
Telecards
I think everyone knows about Navel’s 10th anniversary project by now, featuring as you would expect everyone’s beloved Nishimata, and Suzuhira Hiro is along for the ride. He seems to have improved a lot, a skill some people lack hint hint. Ou Jackson is also hidden amongst one of the four writers for the game, and the overall level of writing seems to be pretty high. It has a pretty damned good score on EGS so far, and many people seem to be enjoying the text. There is a high chance Moogy will play it and talk all about how great the trap protag is.

Moogy comments: I’ve been too busy with other stuff to play it, but I’ll get around to it pretty soon. However it should be noted that Jackson probably didn’t really write much beyond the prologue so it has a different feel from his games. Navel’s writing team in general seems to have improved though so whatever. Also Suzuhira is female, I can’t believe teru didn’t know that.

—

花色ヘプタグラム
Lump of Sugar
Preorder Bonuses
The only thing Lump of Sugar does consistently is use Moekibara over and over. This has the two writers for their other games that weren’t really well received.
There seem to be mysterious supernatural things going on like an osananajimi who can summon gods and a loli kemonomimi onsen god and everything but it’s just a normal moege. I must admit it has very pretty backgrounds though.

Moogy comments: Will Lump of Sugar ever make a good game like ItsuSora again? Magic 8 Ball says all signs point to no.

—

あなたの事を好きと言わせて
Praline
Telecards
Ooooh yeah a moege where all the heroines have giant oppai minus one, and one is a teacher! Aren’t you excited, I mean that is such an original setup!

—

おたマ！～おたく仲間はちっこいマニア～
Unison Shift Accent
Telecards
Here is a moege featuring a bunch of otaku lolis.
…There really isn’t much more to say. Their new project looks neater.

Moogy comments: teru just doesn’t want to admit how much of a pedophile he is I’m sure he’s playing this right now. Also Ozawa Akifumi is a pretty good artist.

—

恋色マリアージュ
ま～まれぇど
Preorder Bonuses
A character game that takes place at an onsen ryokan. Or a Japanese inn with hot springs. And the protag is already engaged with the main heroine at the beginning of the game.
I like the designs but that’s just because I’m just gay for one of the illustrators. If I were to choose a moege for the month I’d pick this, the characters are unoffensive and the painting is really eroi and while there is a school it doesn’t take place at a fucking school.

—

サナララR
ねこねこソフト
Telecards
I played the original when it came out and to be honest only the first story written by Kataoka was the only really good one. The second was garbage, third was okay, fourth dragged on too long, fifth was just a joke. It does have a unique setting about wish granting and navigators which is kind of a pain to explain so I won’t bother, and the new scenario that was added seems to be about a girl challenging this system (or god) and seems to be much longer than all the other stories but I don’t really want to sit through everything again to get to it. But she is pretty cute.
And yes, Ume was the one who did some of the designs and CGs for the original. So some people speculate that Madoka’s popularity was a motivator for this.

—

祝福の鐘の音は、桜色の風と共に
すたじお緑茶
Telecards
The ryokucha writer can be pretty damned funny sometimes, he’s definitely not bad or anything, but this game doesn’t look too original and there are complaints of it being really short (which won’t bother me!). Anyway, looks like ryokucha kind of slipped and made a really normal moege.

Moogy comments: Note that teru is the only person who thinks Ryokucha’s writer is funny. I played Magicaride from them because it has Gotou Mai as the main heroine and Klonoa ripoff gameplay but honestly all I can say about that writer is that… his tension is very high. In the Japanese sense. And not really in a good way.

—

ぜったい最胸☆おっぱい戦争!! ～巨乳王国ｖｓ貧乳王国～
softhouse-seal GRANDEE
Telecards
I would normally ignore softhouse seal but this is from their GRANDEE team which makes full priced games. As you can see the setting is a joke fantasy world about an ongoing war between the flat chested race and giant chested race. On the top page you can vote for giant boobs or small boobs, and at the time of this post it is currenty at giant 33k vs small 27k. There is also a race of normal size boobs who are discriminated against in both nations, and the protag’s imouto happens to be one of them, and she is the only character in the game with a normal chest size (they’re still kind of big). And she won the first popularity contest. In a game about giant and small boobs, the only character with normal boobs is the most popular (she also got the most telecards). I believe there is a lesson to be learned from this.

Moogy comments: Kyonyuu are bad. Very very bad. I am upset that Clochette has made them a trend throughout the industry. Plz no kyonyuu

—

CHU→NING LOVER
シュガーハウス
Preorder Bonuses
A somewhat new trope that is rather common now would be loli teachers (which this game also has), and before that traps. Traps existed for quite a while before they gained the recognition they have now, though. The next wave would be something quite unfamiliar and incomprehensible to most westerners, chuunibyou. I don’t know what started it, but for these past few years characters with chuunibyou or who were once chuunibyou have increased virtually exponentially. We now have an anime by Kyo-Ani in which the entire concept is about it. As for eroge and LNs, heroines or characters with chuunibyou are a common sight now (there was at least one in the previous post) and it has become a convenient trait to easily spice up both male and female characters. Unfortunately, it’s inherently a Japanese thing (half the concept is abuse of the Japanese language in a way that doesn’t translate at all to English) so westerners are either usually laughing for the wrong reasons or just don’t really get it at all. While that Can’t Be Helped, it’s definitely a trend that’s going to continue so if you’re an otaku you’d better familiarize yourself with it one way or another.
At any rate, an eroge came out where three out of five heroines are afflicted with chuunibyou. Technically one is just a dumb pseudo-yankee(JP definition) and one is just a maid pretending to be a robot for some reason so it’s really only one, the one who calls herself 永遠の刻を約束された黒魔術師（エターナル・ダークエンド・マジシャン）. In other words this game is lying and is just your average trying-to-come-off-as-over-the-top-comedy eroge.
Why did I write all this crap? I don’t know.

Moogy comments: Note that Jackson managed to beat this trend by like 8-10 years by including an extremely chuu2 male “rival” character voiced by Kamiya Hiroshi (his only eroge role, changed in Kanzenban) in Sorechiru back in 2002. Possibly the earliest example of this trope in eroge!!!!11

—

ハッピーエンドトリガー
ILLUSION
So Illusion tried to make a normal scenario-focused AVG. Yeah. They tried. Trying is important and that’s what counts. PS the characters aren’t blood related. This is important which is why they stuck a warning on their website.

—

メるヘン荘
MBS Truth -Cherish Pink-
Telecards
Just to prove my earlier statement, even MBS truth (nukige maker) stuck a chuunibyou heroine in their latest game. Also those chibis are ripping off a certain dark chibi lord.

Moogy comments: I normally don’t really care about bad games ripping off other genga to sell more but trying to ape Yoda is somewhat crossing the line due to how strongly Yoda is associated with a particular writer nowadays. The chibis don’t look nearly retarded enough either so I don’t really know why they bothered copying his style. In the first place why would you copy Yoda. He only works on weird Shumon games that nobody likes. Except Jingai Makyou. Stealing his artstyle isn’t going to make your nukige sell better. Okay whatever I’m done.

—

催眠遊戯
スタッフィング
Telecards
Sayori’s first eroge! Help support her career and as an eroge artist by purchasing this game!!! IT’S HER DREAM!!!!!!

Moogy comment: Sayori said on Twitter that she was kind of upset that she finally realized her dream to become an eroge artist at a point when the industry is basically dying. :( Everyone buy lots of eroge so she can continue working in eroge for many years to come.

—

ツルペタ！～ちっぱいは性交の素～
HEAT-SOFT
ALSO HELP SUPPORT KURASUKE‘S CAREER TOO WHILE YOU’RE AT IT SO HE CAN DRAW THINGS OTHER THAN FOR LOW PRICE NUKIGE OR RANDOM DOUJIN GAMES

Moogy comments: Hey now, Kurasuke is the artist for the new Shoujobyou too, so he does have something decent under his belt. Of course it’s anyone’s guess as to when that game will actually come out…

—

Other fullprice nukige:
Chu（治癒）してあげちゃう ～押しかけお姉さんの性交恥療～ (The protag’s mom is the most kawaii)
もののけ淫妖譚 こんなに可愛い娘が人間のはずがない！
ManguSta 恥辱風紀委員会
ヌキどきッ！～天使と悪魔の搾精バトル～
僕だけの少女 ～狂おしいほど君が好き～

Please wait three months until my next post.

Moogy comments: Honestly it’s been a pretty boring year for eroge so far and these last three months aren’t really an exception. Nevertheless it is teru’s duty to bring you the latest and greatest (may not be latest or greatest) information on upcoming (may not be upcoming) eroge so I will continue to whip him until he fulfills his DESTINY.

色々酷いけど、酷いことも書きますけどどうか怒らないでください。いいえ、怒ってもいいけど矛先は私に向けないでください。まあ古い情報なんで日本語でふざけていられるんですけど。

相変わらずこちらの動画を参考にしてます。

さくら、咲きました。
SORAHANE

—

聖もんむす学園
Vanadis
特典
好きな人には好きだろうけどこっちは二人ぐらいしか許容できません…せめて頭を首に置け

—

貧は僕らの福の神～貧乏の神さまだって幸せになりたいと思っているのだ～
ボンボンカンパニー
特典
雑音っぽいというかユニゾンシフトっぽい絵のだ。評価は何だか微妙なのだ。別に驚くことでもないのだ。
エロゲに登場する神様達へのお願い：いい加減学生をやるの止めてください

—

イモウトノカタチ
Sphere
特典
もう死ね（私怨）

—

ILLUSION FIELD －幻影現実－
FULLTIME
「先輩、先輩、ksg臭が半端ねーっす！いっしょにあそびましょーよー！」と迫ってくる後輩がいたらどうします？

—

第二音楽室へようこそっ!!
WHEEL
元より外国からのアクセスをブロックしてるエロゲ会社に温情をかけるつもりはありません、ましてやただのドタバタラブコメディともなると何も言えなくなります。でもこれだけは言わせてもらいます。ヒロインが変人ばかりと謳う作品に限って、変人でもなんでもないんです。これでも変人ヒロインのエキスパートなんです、大抵の自称変人はただのよくある突飛そうな属性を利用してるに過ぎません。本物の変人ヒロインは難しい上に珍しいものです、ほとんどのゲームは一人以上を扱うことはほぼありません。変人舐めんなしばくぞオラァです。

—

中の人などいない！ トーキョー・ヒーロー・プロジェクト
ALcot
特典
貧乳がここまでの人気を獲得できるなら妙な出オチゲームよりもクロハ２をネタで終わらせないでちゃんと作っても十分利益が出ると思いますが。とはいえこれはこれで十分笑えそうですけど。

—

いろとりどりのヒカリ
FAVORITE
特典
聞いた話によるとファンディスクというより普通に続編。量は前作よる少し少ない程度とのことらしいです。EGSの高点の原因は単に前作が好きだったおかしな人たちしか遊んでないからそうなっただけみたい。…あと蓮はロリというか子供ですよね。幼女ですよね。ペドくて危ないですよね。なんで人気投票二位。なんで危ないお風呂ポスターがあるんですか。

—

学☆王- It’s Heartful Days
Lump of Sugar
こっちが本物のファンディスクですね。

—

世界ノ全テノ全テ
霊岳ソフト
たまソフト生きてたのか…いや、生きてないけど生きてたのか…シナリオの人の名前が思いっきりブランドの名前になっとる…
私もエロゲ会社を立ち上げて　てるソフト　と名乗ってみようかな。

—

優しい魔法の唱え方
Felicia
特典
気のせいか絵柄は全てどっかのパクリのような…

—

リヴォルバーガール☆ハンマーレディ
KAI
特典
実は〆鯖コハダの絵があまり好きじゃなかったんです。崩れてるというか安定しないというか、主に腰に問題を感じましたが…これを見る限りどことなく改善されたらしい。それに塗もよくなりました。ソフマップ特典の絵が結構好き。
ゲームの方は相変わらず〆鯖コハダらしい妙に凝った設定の凌辱もの。

—

追奏のオーグメント
地雷ソフト
こういう特殊な設定のゲームは説明するより直接見た方が早い。CGは綺麗でわかりやすい方かと。
でも。シリアスな雰囲気を醸し出しながら評価を見る限りギャグの方が多い不思議。もちろんシリアスもあるそうですけど。でもこのスタッフを見てください。
ディレクター … 丸山 剛
シナリオ … 丸山 剛
音楽 … 丸山 剛
原画 … 雛咲
スタッフはそれだけみたいです。つまりこの丸山さんが好き勝手やってるということでしょうか。興味深い。

—

彼女はオレからはなれない
戯画
特典
皆の言いたいことはわかりきってるので私からは何も言いません。

—

かみデレ
CandySoft
特典
ですから神様を学生にしないでくださいとなんど言えば…とんだ職務怠慢になりますよ。それになんでハーフの帰国子女が二人もいるんですか。おかしくない？東洋の神ですよね？

—

SINCLIENT
BOOST5
特典
シュタゲの人。評価はまちまちで半数は微妙。シナリオは選択肢のない一本道なので読みやすいかもしれません。実際一気読みした人も多いみたい。評価の中によく見る言葉は「面白いけど」。多分それだけわかればいい。

—

Zero Infinity -Devil of Maxwell-
light
特典
確か劣化Diesと呼ばれてましたが劣化でも大抵のゲームよりはいいと言う意見もあります。

—

九十九の奏～欠け月の夜想曲～
SkyFish
特典
玉梓萌え。驚き（？）の人気一位。
さえき北都さんの塗りがだんだん良くなって行ってるんですね。
うーん、評価を見ても何を思えばいいのやらよくわかりません。あまり多くないし。
設定はできてたけどシナリオが段々ほつれていく？遊びたい反面、不完全燃焼には食傷気味。一本道だから無駄は少ないでしょうけど。
スカイフィッシュの作品はいつも何かを欠けてるように見受けられますが何故でしょうか。

—

辻堂さんの純愛ロード
みなとカーニバル
わたくしとこのブログの管理人はこういったゲームに対し大変よろしくない印象を胸中に抱いてるため悪口しか言えない仕様になっておりますのでご判断は読み手に委ねたいと思います。

—

ピュアガール
フロントウイング
特典
おかずに使える変態的イチャラブ。どこがピュア。
絵柄が非常に可愛らしいで好みですけどそれは要らない情報ですね。でもこのバナーじゃ伝わりませんからサイトも見てください。

—

LOVELY QUEST
HOOKSOFT
妹優遇特典
HOOKは一度くらい方向性を変えてもいいと思うの。

—

Re：birth colony -Lost azurite-
あっぷりけ
疲れてきたところにいきなり紹介に難航しそうな重いシナリオ重視ゲームがやってきて途方に暮れます。なのでこの人の擬似的考察でも読んでください。
…まあ冗談なんですけど。
このゲームは前作のフェイクアズール・アーコロジー の設定を引き継いでおり、少々重いテーマを取り組んでます。こういうゲームに限っては流石に読まないと何も言えないけど、評価を見る限りシナリオはそれなりにしっかりしてる方らしい。
…いやー本当こういうゲームになると大したことは言えないから困ります。何もわからないのに総合的な出来よりも細かい内容の感想ばっかり書いてる人多いからシナリオや設定に触れてる話を読んでもはてなマークしか出ません。単に疲れてるかもしれませんが皆は感想を書くのが下手ってことにします。

—

流星のアーカディア
だんでらいおん
特典
情報はこの程度しかないので、まあ…お金が余ってるなら絵やエロのために買ってみてもイインジャナイデショウカ…

—

竜翼のメロディア -Diva with the blessed dragonol-
Whirlpool
特典
Whirlpoolは一度くらい方向性を変えてもいいと思うの。
ファンタジー世界で音楽院やっても竜がいても学園物は所詮学園物ですよ。

—

おれつま！
CLOCKUP
特典
人妻は守備範囲外の遙か彼方に位置する属性。基本童顔専用なので。

—

ごっくんアスリート！巨乳メダリストのおしゃぶり強化合宿
マリン
特典
これに一粒の魅力でも感じてるのでしたら私はきっと貴方とは友達にはなれません。

—

パパラブ2軒目
BLUE GALE
特典
娘ゲーと謳ってる割に皆あまり娘っぽい外見はしてない。

—

すくみず食べ放題
WAFFLE
特典

初めてAAを使わせてもらいますね。

　＊　 　　　+　　　　巛 ヽ
　　　　　　　　　　　　〒　!　　　+　　　　。　　　　　+　　　　。　　　　　＊　 　　　。
　 　　　　+　　　　。　 | 　|
　　　＊　 　　　+　　 /　/　　　イヤッッホォォォオオォオウ！
　　　　　　 ∧＿∧ /　/
　　　　　　（´∀｀　/　/　+　　　　。　　　　　+　　　　。　　　＊　 　　　。
　　　　　　,-　　　　　ｆ
　　　　　 / ｭﾍ　　　　| ＊　 　　　+　　　　。　　　　　+　　　。　+　　　　　　　　
　　　　　〈＿｝ ）　　　|　
　　　　　　　 /　　　　! +　　　　。　　　　　+　　　　+　　　　　＊　　　　　　　　　
　　　　　　 ./　　,ﾍ　 |
　ｶﾞﾀﾝ　||| j　　/　|　 | |||
―――――――――――― 　

まあ予想通り正確に表示されてない。

わっふるが新しいスク水ゲームを出すのをずっと待ってました。相変わらずスク水の塗り方に異常なほどの拘りを感じます。神の成せる技。
でも。主人公がキモイ。

—

恋する乙女のお仕置き授業
10mile
実は嘘と真琴にお仕置きをを遊んだことあるんです。かなり前からこの原画さん、磁油2のファンなんですけど、非常に技術力が高くてエロゲの原画をやってると知ったととたん買わざるを得ませんでした。
絵は確かによかった。予想通りの技術力。しかし内容もエロも短くて古典的で薄くて短い。でも絵はよかった。
花は折りたし梢は高しのヒロインはヤンデレなのでおそらくは前作よりも濃いでしょうけど未だに手は出せず。

—

門を守るお仕事
ソフトハウスキャラ
相変わらずOHPのやる気がないけど同じく相変わらずデモムービーだけが凝ってます。そして相変わらず同じ声優を雇ってます。とりあえず茶谷やすらや春日アンを起用してくれてありがとう。

—

魔法戦士エクストラステージ
Triangle
特典
まあ一応。声優のフリートークがお勧め。そういうの大好き。そよそよがとても楽しそう。青井美海の声は反則的に可愛いけど地声までも可愛いとは知りませんでした。いつか普通のゲームのメインヒロイン役やってほしい…

二か月分のエロゲでした。アレをカウントしなければ特にこれは絶対にやりたいと思うようなエロゲはありませんでした。サーセン。次回はさらにやる気のない英語でお送りします。元々日本語が読める人のためのブログじゃないんですから、これが。勝手に日本語でやっちゃってるだけです。皆が欲しい比較的新しい情報なのでなにを書いてるのかわからないとダメってわけです。エロゲが読めないくせに？それは言わない約束ですよ旦那。
…次からはあの人妻ゲームやアスリートゲームみたいな抜きゲー(と他かどうでもよさそうなやつ）のデモムービーが新作動画で流されても紹介しません。方向性が全然違う上に間違いなくこのブログを閲覧する皆様方には一番どうでもいいジャンル。

Requires Being An Intelligent Human Being Tier (Normal)

• Aiyoku no Eustia – Nothing really hard. Some fantasy/political vocabulary.
• Akatsuki no Goei – Lots of manzai that might not come across well in a translation.
• A Profile – N/A
• atled – N/A
• Baldr Force – Insane shitloads of Engrish furigana, probably like an average of 2 or 3 words with furigana a line. Not to mention random German. Definitely loses some charm in a translation.
• Baldr Sky – See above, but less severe.
• Cartagra – Hope you enjoy translating hilarious guro scenes.
• Dalk Gaiden – N/A
• eden* – Might require some fancy writing tricks but no difficult concepts or anything.
• Furuiro Meikyuu Rondo – Could honestly improve the game in a translation, latter half really needs some more attention paid to it in general.
• Harumade, Kururu – Lots and lots of crazy sci-fi ideas but nothing hard to understand or translate.
• Himawari – See above!
• Hoshizora no Memoria – Could do this while you’re asleep honestly. Just make sure Mare’s conversations with Yoh at the tenboudai at night remain funny okay.
• Kagura Douchuuki – Why did I even play this anyway. Like 50% of the script is gross monster rape so have fun.
• Kamidori – Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
• Konna Ko ga Itara Boku ha mou – Mostly braindead but make sure the protagonist is a funny dick.
• Kono Yo no Hate de Koi wo Utau Shoujo YU-NO – Lots and lots of bad puns.
• Kourin no Machi – Braindead but hope you enjoy a lot of boring as fuck scenes and fencing.
• Magica Ride – N/A
• Midori no Umi – Narration is kind of “faggy” for lack of a better term.
• Only You – Make sure it’s hot.
• Piano no Mori no Mankai no Shita – teru played this without knowing who Mephistopheles was. True story.
• Quartett – Hope you like translating dull manga/anime dialogue.
• Rance series – Nothing hard in the whole thing. Fantasy vocab.
• Renai 0 Kilometer – Like the entire thing is boke/tsukkomi so I dunno how well it would come across in English.
• Shoin, Aruiha Ushinawareta Yume no Monogatari (and 2nd Love while we’re at it) – An absolutely fucking ludicrous amount of major typos and scripting errors, some of which make the script a bit harder to understand in places. Room to improve the game in a translation here too.
• Soukoku no Arterial – Not as bad as Kamidori!
• Steins;Gate – See Himawari/Harukuru.
• Symphonic Rain – I seem to remember the script having a fair number of typos. Make sure you preserve the very casual writing style, because it’s part of what makes the game unique.
• Toushin Toshi III – Genichirou would be pretty fun to translate.
• Tsuyokiss – Try not to fall asleep after the common route.

Basically A Pain in the Ass Tier (Hard)

• ‘&’ – Easiest Hino game by far but still some pretty tricky sections here and there. Not really enough to justify any higher than this rank though.
• CARNIVAL and anything else by Setoguchi Renya – Requires actually being a (very) good writer so good luck with this one folks. Nothing terribly difficult to actually adapt though IMO.
• Draculius – Script is really crazy and has a lot of power to it, might not seem very difficult but you need to be able to carry it all the way like Fujisaki did and I think that would take a fair deal of writing prowess.
• Forest – Dialogue is extremely theatrical, requiring some talent to pull off effectively in English. Lots of very vague parts of the script too.
• Grisaia series – Extremely verbose with a huge vocabulary level and tons and tons of jargon and specialized concepts. You’ll need to be a good writer and either very keen on all things military and vehicle related or willing to spend a lot of time researching them in English. Also fucking long.
• Kusarihime – Meteor is weird. Also the plot is very hard to follow.
• Mari-kuri and other HAIN games – Super super weirdo writing style, nothing but metafiction.
• Moekan – Some pretty crazy battles. SCA-Ji’s parts occasionally veer off into philosophic territory.
• Muv-Luv series – I hope you’re basically supreme overlord of the United States military or something because goddamn is the dialogue in this stuff hardcore. The imperial characters all speak in super duper fancy Japanese too so it’s not just military jargon. Just a really huge pain all around but nothing uniquely Japanese I suppose other than that letter in chapter 6 of Alternative.
• Nekonade Distortion – Incomprehensible plot, philosophy spam.
• Rewrite – Moon and Terra need to be handled with real care; rest of the game is extremely long.
• Sayonara wo Oshiete – Written like a novel.
• Seven-Bridge – Meteor.
• Sharin no Kuni – Very very quotable game so you need to preserve that. The translation’s that out there is pretty shitty I know.
• Tenshi no Hane wo Fumanaide – Easiest Shumon game to translate by far, but that’s not really saying much. Fairly verbose with a lot of complicated concepts to explain to the reader. The ending has kanji dickery integrated into the characters’ names so have fun with that.
• Trample on Schatten – Text is extremely idiosyncratic to say the least. Very fancy Japanese here and there and you have to deal with the Kagefumi stuff as well.
• Tsui no Sora – Basically a random philosophy wankfest + denpa.
• Umineko – Everybody knows Ryuukishi’s style by now I guess.
• White Album 2 – Am I the only one who finds Maruto’s style kinda similar to Shumon’s? Very emotionally charged language, Japanese is probably a more suitable language in the end.

Holy Shit Fuck This Tier (Very Hard)

• Comyu – Hahaha I hope you fucking have fun translating gigantic Hino monologues that never ever fucking end. Not as hard to translate as Ruitomo by itself but I’d probably have a brain aneurysm by the end.
• Demonbane – Haganeya’s style is ridiculously incompatible with the English language and this game is long as hell so you’ll be basically rewriting every line from scratch the entire way. I’m not even considering translating anything this guy writes ever again.
• Dra+KoI – See above, but with less length and more language that’s simply painful to translate.
• Fate series – Good old Nasu. Wonder if we’ll ever see a decent translation of anything he wrote.
• Hanachirasu – I think most people should be able to understand the difficulty inherent in translating this.
• JQV – Faux-Romeo that’s only slightly less of a pain in the ass to deal with. Jokes are probably a lost cause entirely.
• Kazoku Keikaku – Actual Romeo and it’s still a pain in the ass to deal with. Again, jokes are most likely a lost cause.
• Kikokugai – Urobuchi’s incredibly expressive and detailed descriptive text combined with tons and tons of crazy wuxia shit? No thank you.
• Mahoutsukai no Yoru – Again, Nasu.
• Meguri, Hitohira – Endless Shintou concepts and lots of etymology discussion, pretty much par for the course with Shumon. Writing itself isn’t quite as bad to deal with as Asairo and there’s not as much fucking insanity as Itsusora though.
• Saya no Uta – Urobuchi.
• Shinju no Yakata – Mareni and Romeo? Written in third person? Enormous vocabulary and tons of Japanese culture? Boy, I can’t wait to work on this!
• Sorechiru – Jackson, but you only have one writing style to deal with as opposed to several in Oretsuba. Not that that’s much consolation, I know.
• Soukou Akki Muramasa – I hesitated on whether to put this here or in the next tier up, but the writing style itself is usually not terribly difficult to deal with. Everything else, though, oh boy.
• Steampunk series – See comments about Haganeya above; Sakurai has a fairly similar writing style to his. And it’s even less fit for the English language. How great.
• Zoku Satsuriku no Django – Urobuchi.

Impossible Tier (Impossible)

• Cross+Channel – Anyone who attempts this is doomed to weep inconsolably throughout, filled with self-hatred as Romeo’s beautiful words are disfigured by their very own hands. I would probably commit suicide before finishing.
• Dies irae – Wow. Where do I even start? Not only do you need to somehow figure out a way to be impossibly chuu2 in English, but you need to do this in the most grandiose manner possible while still writing something that can be taken seriously. And you need do to this for 4mb of text. That’s not even getting into the distinct speech pattern each and every single character has, either. Mercurius’s lines especially are just… how can anyone write like that? Makoto himself agreed that he considered the prospect of translating Dies irae way more difficult than translating Muramasa, so there’s some food for thought.
• Itsuka, Todoku, Ano Sora ni. – Oh dear lord. A ludicrously complex writing style that is alternately methodical and impassioned, kanji puzzles as part of the setting, unbelievably over the top fight scenes – including one with fucking mathematical formulas, every type of Japanese history you can imagine, an intentionally misleading and roundabout method of presenting the plot for most of the game, huge infodumps at every turn, archaic speech styles, Norse mythology… the list just goes on and on. Everything that would be annoying to translate is all here in one neat package. The one saving grace is that it’s not especially long, I suppose.
• Oretachi ni Tsubasa ha Nai – Here it is folks, the big one. Nothing that’s especially difficult from an adaptation standpoint, so this one is just a straight up test of how good of a writer you are. Are you man enough to handle the six distinct voices Jackson has on display in this one? Probably not unless you’re fucking Nabokov or somebody, since his (incredibly verbose) writing style is one of the cleanest and most expressive you’ll find from any writer in any language. Every time I reread parts of Oretsuba I gain a greater appreciation of just how fucking well-written it is – this is definitely not something to be approached lightly and I think anyone who really loves the game will agree that it’s something that should never be attempted by the kind of people who translate visual novels, professionally or otherwise. More than anything this is the game that needs a real, proven writer to work on a theoretical translation. And that simply won’t happen.
• Rui ha Tomo wo Yobu – The letter in the second script is far more difficult to translate (or properly comprehend) than anything else from any other game in this post. Otherwise you just have to deal with a writing style that alternates between not working in English and not working in any language period but somehow sounding really cool and poignant no matter what. Also tons of crazy humor and denpa dialogue.
• Saihate no Ima – Substantially more complicated text than any of the above (by Romeo, to boot), including 300kb of encyclopedia entries on a comically wide range of subjects and disciplines. There’s not really much more to say beyond the fact that this is definitely the single most difficult piece of Japanese writing I’ve come across in eroge. Your brain would explode long before you made headway in this.
• Subarashiki Hibi – A number of factors combine to put this at the top with other games that might seem much harder at first glance. For one, SCA-Ji’s style isn’t something you’re going to be able to preserve well in English – Jabberwocky II is going to end up as a mere shadow of its former self in English no matter how hard you try, in particular. On top of just the writing style, however, is the fact that, to put it very simply, SCA-Ji is far more intelligent than anyone reading this blog entry, including myself. There are a great deal of very high level concepts in SubaHibi and any aspiring translator is going to need to accept that he probably doesn’t understand it all. From there, you reach the point of actually researching and interpreting all this shit, which could take years, honestly. You’ll also have to deal with knowing that the vast majority of people who read visual novels in English don’t have the level of reading comprehension or education necessary to really start to approach interpreting and understanding SubaHibi on anything but a surface level, so your efforts in translating it will be mostly wasted. The amount of effort you’d have to put into translating SubaHibi isn’t really worth the payoff in other words. Also there’s a shitload of horrible ero so have fun with that.

Literally Impossible Tier (I have no idea how anyone would even begin to translate these games)

• Kajiri Kamui Kagura -I believe these videos say it all. If anyone has any idea how to start approaching this shit do let me know, lol. Otherwise it’s the same difficulty as Dies.
• Kitto, Sumiwataru Asairo Yorimo, – Critical thematic elements and underlying plot points rely on concepts exclusive to the Japanese language, making it impossible to translate into English in a seamless fashion. If you can look past all of that it still sits on the Impossible Tier because it’s really not much better than ItsuSora with regards to everything else.

I think that should be everything for now. Perhaps I will update this post in the future. Or maybe not, because it’s really stupid.

Rewrite
Presented by Tanaka Romeo
2011, Key

Let us not mince words. Rewrite is a deeply flawed game on levels that cannot be compensated for, even by Romeo’s genius and mastery of his craft. Key’s fundamental approach to story composition is a broken one, and this is as apparent in Rewrite as it is in both CLANNAD and Little Busters. To put it simply, all three of these games force the player to sit through a massive amount of irrelevant scenarios in order to reach the true meat and message of the game. CLANNAD’s implementation is perhaps the least offensive; though most of the routes are quite bad, there is at least justification for Tomoya’s participation in them and every route can be considered part of the “canon.” In Little Busters and Rewrite, however, this is not the case – both Refrain and Terra render the entirety of the scenario before them essentially meaningless, and in Rewrite’s case even actively detrimental to the basic goal of the plot. Rewrite still manages to come out on top in this regard, as several of the character routes are quite good and the common route is more than entertaining, but the amount of low-importance text that the reader is forced to sit through remains massive – and this is only exacerbated by the fact that Moon and Terra mark a major shift not in only in the direction of the plot, but in the tone and writing style of the game itself. Simply put, Moon and Terra are the only parts of the game that Romeo really seems to have had full control over, and they are majorly at odds with everything that comes before them in terms of both plot and tone due to this. This is the ultimate caveat when it comes to dealing with Rewrite – and, unfortunately, also the game’s greatest storytelling flaw.

It must also be stated that Key’s insistence upon multiple writers certainly doesn’t do the game any favors either. Ryuukishi’s material is entertaining, but nearly completely irrelevant to the game’s plot (Lucia could be removed from the game entirely without impacting the overall story), while Tonokawa’s material not only directly contradicts elements of Romeo’s background setting, but is simply poorly written in a way that only a fodder writer from Key could manage. I highly suggest skipping the routes written by Tonokawa (Chihaya and Shizuru) entirely, as they are both awful and misleading; Lucia’s route is probably worth reading, as it is thematically linked to the rest of the game, but the story developments and characterization are so disconnected from the rest that it may be best to read it after completing the rest of the game as sort of an omake. In summary, though, the writers other than Romeo serve to do nothing more than further muddy the waters of Rewrite’s already murky composition and their routes can be skipped without consequence.

And finally, before I continue on to what I actually liked about the game, it’s worth noting that the game is the mess that it is due to Key staff such as Itaru being involved with the planning process from the beginning – in other words, Romeo is not to blame for any of the game’s shortcomings. In fact, it’s quite the opposite – if not for Romeo’s involvement with the project, Rewrite would almost certainly have been an utter disaster instead of the only Key game I’ve been willing to play from beginning to end. However, it must also be stated that there are several points, most notably Kotori’s route, where Romeo seems to have been trying to match his style to Key’s, resulting in… less than favorable results, shall we say. An easy way of describing the problem would be that Key and Romeo are both cancelling out what makes the other one good. I don’t think this problem really extends far outside of Kotori’s route, though, so it’s not nearly as much of a concern as the problems with the overall composition are.

So, yes, Rewrite is a deeply flawed game; I’m not going to even try to deny that. But here’s the thing – the flaws only extend to the actual structure of the story. In other words, while each individual element might not work together to create a greater whole, the plot itself is full of some absolutely brilliant ideas, and the parts that are good aren’t just good, but great. This includes the entirety of Moon and Terra, so the game ends on a high note if nothing else. Not everything is a disjointed mess, either – Rewrite holds up well to multiple playthroughs, as with all of Romeo’s games, thanks to some pivotal developments with regards to Kotarou’s character toward the end of the game and a powerful main theme that is craftily woven into plot points that are rather disparate on their own. I must also lavish praise upon the wonderfully playful atmosphere of the common route, as well as the highly likeable characters – the common route is far too long for its own good, but it’s also the most enjoyable part of the game from a pure entertainment standpoint; simply put, I was in a good mood the entire time I was playing it.

Another way that Rewrite succeeds is in distancing itself from the simplistic messages and ill-planned settings of previous Key games. Romeo tackles a very hefty theme in Rewrite – humanity’s relationship with a dying Earth and where and how the journey of life and evolution will proceed when this planet’s resources run out. And you know what? He pulls it off. Sure, in the process he might make you question the meaning of much of what you’ve read before reaching that point, but I don’t think anyone can argue that he doesn’t present both the problem and the solution in very compelling and, yes, unique ways. The game as a whole has a recurring theme of abandoning everything else in order to pursue a single goal, and that definitely factors into the main plot as well. Romeo is probably the only person who could not only dream up a plot like this, but also manage to make it work, and I think in the end seeing Romeo’s look at humanity’s “breaking point” makes Rewrite worth it. As this is being written, the anime adaptation of Jinrui ha Suitaishimashita is enjoying a great deal of popularity, and those who find the ideas presented in that series to be interesting on some level would do well to check out Rewrite, in any case.

Ahem. A bit of a digression there, but my point is that Rewrite actually approaches some heavy issues that previous Key games would never have dreamt of dealing with – it may not have the raw emotional impact of CLANNAD, but with regards to the underlying ideas and thematic approach I am going to simply state outright that it is far superior to any previous Key game in very basic ways. At the same time, however, it very much drags with it the flaws that really should have been stamped out after CLANNAD, which is, in blunt terms, more than a little disappointing.

So, then, the question is: Is Rewrite worth playing? After revisiting the game a bit with Harvest Festa, I’m going to say that I think it is, in spite of all of the flaws. The common route is one of the most enjoyable parts of any game I’ve played, the cast is for the most part excellent, the central theme is thought-provoking, and there are a number of extremely powerful bits of writing here and there. However, those of you unwilling to sit through a massive game with really very little cohesiveness between routes should be wary – Rewrite’s parts are very much greater than its sum total. If you’re absolutely set on reading through all of the character routes, you’re also going to be very disappointed, since Akane’s is the only one that is unarguably a worthwhile read. Basically, take a look at how large the game is and use your better judgment to determine if you want to commit to such a huge piece of writing, knowing that much of that length is not going to contribute to the story as a whole. I also can’t really recommend the game if you just want something fun – though the common route is very lighthearted indeed, all of the character routes are extremely depressing and Terra itself is a bit of a downer as well. Fans of previous Key games should probably approach with caution as well, as romance is never a focus, the game is completely different from Maeda’s works thematically, and there are a lot of, shall we say, decidedly unpleasant moments. Action fans should also steer clear; the OP might make you think differently, but only one route has any number of actual fight scenes (Chihaya’s), and it’s quite simply not worth reading on any level. I think a fight scene on a later route (Akane’s) is one of the best scenes in the entire VN/eroge industry, but it’s rather abstract and not the hotblooded sort of thing, so…

I guess the previous paragraph brings to light another one of Rewrite’s issues – it’s pretty hard to actually find someone the game appeals to on a deep level. In the end, I think Romeo fans will get the most out of it, because not only is it a departure from previous Key games, there are simply too many disparate elements at play for it to hit any one “strike zone.” Again, use your better judgment. I’ll refrain from actually spoiling any of the plot, but I think what I’ve said about the central theme is more than enough to decide if you’ll like it in the end or not.

Well, there you have it. It ended up being more of a primer than a review, but either way my job here is done. Below, I’ll bullet point the things I liked about the original game and Harvest Festa as sort of a random bonus.

Rewrite

• Common route is amazing, so much fun. I was dying of laughter constantly.
• Akane and Kotori are both great heroines with great voice acting. I’m not too keen on any of the other heroines, not counting Kagari, though.
• Lucia’s route is so out of place but it’s also pretty interesting precisely because of this. It’s definitely another “side” of Rewrite, you see a lot of stuff the rest of the game never even touches on.
• Akane’s route is incredibly depressing and the ending left me feeling more dead inside than anything, but I can’t deny that it’s pretty amazing and full of wonderful writing. The fight scene absolutely can’t be beaten. A really pleasant surprise after the rest of the routes.
• Moon’s atmosphere and overall presentation are just amazing. So surreal, but at the same time beautiful. Romeo’s approach to science is definitely a romantic one.
• Terra is so well-written as to be unbelievable. Romeo really put in the effort here.

Harvest Festa

• Kotori’s after story has the best writing of anything in Rewrite, period. It pretty much manages to redeem her lackluster route in the main game entirely, which is no small feat.
• Akane’s scenario makes me want more stuff like that really badly. :( I realized just how much I loved the common route of Rewrite playing through this.
• Lucia’s scenario is… well, pretty much the same as the original game. Totally out of place, but enjoyable for what it is.
• Kagari’s is interesting but I think they could have done a lot more with it.
• Rewrite Quest is an extremely well-made RPG, especially for being a minigame in a fandisc. I really think Key should just make RPGs from now on since I don’t think they have anywhere left to go but down after Rewrite.

Anyway, I hope this helped someone decide either way about playing Rewrite. Now to go back to not writing blog posts…

July’s eroge

【発売日変更情報】
07/27→08/24 貧は僕らの福の神(ボンボンカンパニー)
07/27→08/31 イモウトノカタチ(Sphere)
07/27→08/31 いろとりどりのヒカリ(FAVORITE)

三極姫2～天地大乱・乱世に煌く新たな覇龍～
unicorn-a Ge-sen18
Remake of the previous sangoku. Probably unplayable unless you’re a fan of ge-sen’s games.

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平グモちゃん－戦国下剋上物語－
Liar Soft
Based on Japanese history. Looks extremely fun from all angles, especially Hiragumo-chan herself. PS she’s voiced by kinta. It’s probably a very appropiate casting but personally for various reasons I am unable to take her all that seriously. Except it’s a liar soft game meaning it will only be partly voiced which means that probably won’t matter too much! Also she’s been married a few times and has a baby(?). If you are turned off by that you are probably a faggot in real life.

Moogy comments: Fuck yeah Kinta. If you don’t like her get out

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-atled- everlasting song
FLAT
Preorder bonuses
Since when did FLAT get the budget to make an animated OP.
Originally a doujin game and related to Astraythem (introduced in my previous post), both of which are time leap games. Amusingly enough people who have played the trial said it’s already a complete work on its own and it makes them wonder what the hell is supposed to come next since the story already feels finished.

Moogy comments: I played the original doujin game. It’s quite bad. Also, the trial of the remake covers the entirety of the content from the doujin original, apparently.

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イモウトノカタチ
Sphere
Telecards
If you’re looking forward to this you’re a fag. The writers are the same as yosuga’s, it’s probably going to be mind-numbingly boring.
And then I realized while writing this that the release date has been delayed but whatever I’m not going to erase this and do it again next month.

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終わる世界とバースデイ
コットンソフト
Telecards
Apocalyptic world eroge. For something supposedly really dark, it has really bright colors. Warning, main heroine is voiced by Miru. Main heroine is also nearly blind and her brother died two years ago so she thinks the protag is her brother. Isn’t PTSD great. (Also she looks extremely similar to konboku’s Shino. Nearly the exact same design.)
According to the first introduction video, everyone dies at least two times average. It’s probably a lie. Probably. I burned time watching these introduction videos that don’t actually introduce the game but they weren’t all that amusing. It’ll probably be a while until I see something as amusing as Aile’s Friends silly videos.
One of the heroines is named Michael and written as Archangel in Japanese. Poor Michael.

Moogy comments: Enjoy extremely explicit guro. Like, one step short of nom nom from Muvluv. Might be interesting in general.

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紅神楽
でぼの巣製作所
Telecards
Okay, let me get this straight. The original Kagura was modern day and there were three games, all roguelikes. There is a box version that includes all three games. There was also a school version for some godforsaken reason.
The next Kagura (gensoutan) takes place during the beginning of Showa era and there are two games, one a kind of spinoff (soushunfu) with subcharacters from the original as main characters. There is a box version that includes both games, which are also both roguelikes.
In the meanwhile they’ve made two fancy atelier-style ARPGs and a shitty dragon girl game that deserves no mention.
And now this is a completely new Kagura that takes place in modern day with a male protag. This time they’ve made an SRPG.
SLOW DOWN DEBONOSU
ALSO STOP WITH THE YOUKAI RAPE

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受胎島 「どうしてアンタみたいなブサ男に種付けされなきゃいけないのよ?!」
ルネ
Telecards
それはこんな頭の悪い抜きゲーのヒロインの運命だからです。
Ringorin and Tamiyasu’s singing voices are so hilarious different from their acting voices.

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すぽコン! ～SPORTS WEAR-COMPLEX～
Astronauts
Telecards
Unfortunately I do not have a sports wear complex.

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創世奇譚アエリアル
あかべぇそふとすりぃ
Robot action fighting against unidentified creatures to save the world, by the writer of Artemis Blue. It has some hype, but I know nothing more. Also if you preorder this you get the entirety of Artemis Blue minus the ero.
After looking at comments from people who’ve played the trial, it may not be as impressive as it looks. If you can sit through extremely long explanations and Engrish and a dinky protag then go for it.
I think those clothes have way, way too many folds.

Moogy comments: I already preordered this just because it has robots. Aren’t I a cool dude.

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FaintTone
Reon
Telecards
First impressions would go something along the lines of… faec. One of the two illustrators is terrible. The main heroine looks fine in most shots but everyone else is… yeah. On the other hand though each heroine has like 3 sets of casual clothes. That’s impressive. In most games they only have one.
Otherwise it’s just a normal moege.

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古色迷宮輪舞曲 ～HISTOIRE DE DESTIN～
Yatagarasu(八咫鴉)
It looks like Yatagarasu decided to block gaijin at one point. I’m pretty sure they didn’t before. I still have no bloody idea why eroge companies decide to do this, especially since you can just check getchu.
Anyway, game info. Protag works at a fairytale themed cafe. One day a girl in a box was delivered to the cafe, and this girl tells the protag that he will die in one week and misfortune will befall the people around him. He has one week to change fate.
I like the design of the main heroine, or rather that type of design in general. The color saturation on that dress is a bit too strong, though.
For some reason the last line on every character’s page is about how they like their tea.
The puzzle system is really difficult according to comments from people who played the trial. There is a list of words you can drag towards a character, each character (including yourself) as a fate meter and if it goes to 0 they die (in protag’s case game over), and you can’t save. It’s an autosave flowchart system. And that flowchart looks complicated as hell. Have fun completing it. It should be easy preventing the death of everyone around you.

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ヨメ充!
脳内彼女
Trap Telecards
A “Princess suddenly came to my house and is now living with me” game. With Aogiri Penta not drawing traps (for the most part) and extremely nice painting. But in the end it’s just a silly nounai kanojo character game with a really dumb imouto.

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時計仕掛けのレイライン －黄昏時の境界線－
UNiSONSHIFT：Blossom
Telecards
The eroge that totally looks like a light novel. It’s about being magical detectives. Or rather, investigating incidents involving magical objects. And the world connects to an alternate world at night. And of course, it has high quality visuals. Look forward to reading a light novel in eroge format.

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超電激ストライカー
OVERDRIVE
Telecards
Chou Dengeki Stryker, sequel to Dengeki Stryker.

Moogy comments: If by sequel you mean re-release with three additional routes, then yes, totally a sequel.
not_teru: I think that’s like the first time I provided misinformation. But close enough. I somehow managed to watch this dumb video but failed to notice this page.

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Monsters Survive ～負ければモンスターに生殖される～
BLACK LiLiTH
Telecards
Giant monster rape.

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マインドハッカー -お前の心は俺のモノ-
ルナソフト
…I think the staff for this game is from a doujin game group I know well. Even the bgm is the same. And I think they hired net seiyuu. And they have the usual 悪堕ち theme for the heroines. …Well then, I’m pretty sure すたじおおぐま+constructor staff made this. The thing about their games is that they focus too much on trying to make a unique system and it just becomes plain unplayable as a game. But at least the gameplay looks pretty smooth here.

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ぜったいマジイキ!? イチャずらハプニング!
TinkerBell
Telecards
Wow this is a terrible website. Whoever designed this deserves a couple of backhand slaps. And this thing is fullprice.

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つぼい君のスイッチ!
筆柿そふと
Telecards
A nukige about massaging pressure points. Protag is a shota. Shota are gay.

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てにおはっ! ～女の子だってホントはえっちだよ?～
root nuko
Telecards
root nuko’s first nukige. A completely different direction from their previous games. Boobs as large as one’s head are bad.

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いたずらっ娘 ～うちの娘にかぎって～
REAL
Personally if I had to choose between ILLUSION, TEATIME, or REAL’s new game I’d pick this. Twins probably play a part in this decision.

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妹びらいざー
Silver Bullet
Telecards
IMOBILIZER GET IT.

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Tiny Dungeon ～BRAVE or SLAVE～
Roseblue
Telecards
Probably the last in the series. Four full priced games. Good job.

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パジャマさんこんにちわ
emu
The website is an amazing single page.
Apparently this game was inspired by a game called 君に燈る灯 which had instant death routes and PTSD and featured girls with trauma engraved in their hearts and such. If you preorder this game you get 君に燈る灯 as well, how nice.
This game is a mystery adventure where you must shine light in the darkness of the heroine’s hearts! Good luck!

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第2回妹選抜☆総選挙 ～366人目の妹いちゃラブ後日談～
Latte
Look, more politics, aren’t you guys thrilled. You get a new faction and 13 other imoutos. And a robot version of the new imouto.
They show off their animated portraits with fancier videos but in game there is actually no transition between each animation. If you want to bone the new imouto you’re a huge pedo

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美少女万華鏡 －忘れな草と永遠の少女－
ωstar
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Second in the Bishoujo Mangekyou series.
The heroine in the first one was a vampire, so I bet this one’s a ghost.
Happou Bijin’s visuals are impressive as usual.

Start taking bets on how late I will be for next month.

Moogy comments: And now, since teru always overlooks the non-ero titles…

Rewrite Harvest Festa
Telecards
The only other title I have preordered this month. Yes. I think it’ll probably end up being better than the original since it’s probably not going to be much more than random silliness and slice of life, two things that Rewrite did very well. Takes priority over Aerial and whatever else for me because even the worst game by Romeo is more important than the best game by anyone else. Kotarou’s voice acting in the promo video is really good.

Also, happy Tsui no Sora. KeroQ put up a memorial service for Mamiya. There’s a decent arrange album with an szak version of Naglfar no Senjou nite as well.