(This story was originally a downloadable visual novel in two different versions: voiced and unvoiced. Both versions were translated by a different translator. Only the voiced translation is used in this javascript version.)
Thank you for downloading
stage-nana
production Volume 24, "Narcissu".
Production Concepts Et Cetera
Given the decision between "voices" and "no
voices" ...
... if I had to choose one and only one ... which one would be
better?
The concept of one thing being "better" than another is
at best a difficult proposition, but ... nevertheless, I felt
that "no voices" would definitely be better.
The reason, you ask? This is because I was hoping that in the
absence of voices, the power of the reader's imagination would
take over, and that the resultant experience would be far more
powerful and complete -- and I daresay more *perfect* -- than
anything we could hope to provide.
And by the same token ...
What about the visuals? Would it be better to leave those more in
the demesne of the individual reader's imagination as well (by
utilizing simple, black-and-white stylings and the like)?
And if we take that thought to its logical conclusion, what if
the scenario were completely in absentia as well?
(Well, in the case of the scenario, when we talk about it being
'present' or 'absent' ...
- 'present' might stand for a very descriptive,
real/heightened-reality narrative
- 'absent' might stand for a much more minimal written style,
i.e. screenplay- or poem-type
... or something like that)
I had been thinking about these kinds of things for the longest
time, and I came to no definite conclusion. Now, I'd like to
present this piece to you as an ... experiment, an empiric trial.
After all, perhaps the decision was yours all along, and not
mine.
Thoughts After The Words
About The Visuals
I ended up utilizing far more pictures than I ever thought I
would.
At the onset, I had intended to go with simple images clad in
black and white alone ...
And if I were someone who had the right to call himself a real
writer, it might actually have worked that way, but ...
In my mind and in my heart, it seems that art and text will be
forever intertwined.
About The Voices
In the end, I decided to utilize voices after all.
After all, to the last they were recorded so they could be
compared to the unvoiced version, so I was pleasantly relieved to
find that they do introduce a question all of their own.
And that is: what is the difference between those who play
unvoiced first, voiced second and those who play voiced first,
unvoiced second?
I wanted to know what that difference was, and that is yet
another reason why I ended up putting the voices in.
Conclusion
Now that all is said and done ...
... one must wonder whether the original concept -- of
deliberately shifting the burden of imagination (primarily by
minimizing voice, visual, and written media) to the reader in
hopes of planting therein the seeds of a feeling without end --
had merit.
I think that the "principle" of it is in the right.
But in the end, I feel as if I might not have been the best
choice for the application of the principle.
Leaving questions of style and genre specifics aside, at the very
onset my main question was this:
Whether novel-type writing -- not script- or poem-type -- would
be better for this kind of project.
But if there were to be no pictures, then one would have to spend
a lot of words on character descriptions.
Conversely, if character descriptions were sparse, then pictures
would be necessary after all.
Is that obvious? Certainly. But it really does bear saying.
Oh, it might be true that things might be different if one were
to work at it and work at it intensely over a long, long time,
but ...
For my part, I ended up using many more pictures than I had
originally planned because I realized -- because of the
aforementioned dilemma -- that it would be difficult to tell the
story without them (so much for my original plan for simple
black-and-whites ...).
And on top of that, since the in-game user interface mimics a
movie, only two lines of text can be displayed at once -- yet
another betrayal of the original concept, I think.
Therefore, I don't think that at present, I myself can reach high
enough in pursuit of that ideal ...
But if you who have read this piece -- circle members, writers,
it doesn't matter -- feel like reaching for it yourselves, I beg
you to try where I have failed. Particularly you novel-style
writers out there.
Because I cannot help but believe that the guiding principle is
just.
And because it may well be that small limited visual novels,
written by small limited hands and running on small limited
systems are the last and best virtual reality that we have ...
? About The Subject Matter ...
As mentioned above, I ended up putting many different
experimental elements in the plot.
But in those elements (storyline and the like), I allowed myself
to the last to put all my heart into writing the way my heart
desired, for this was not a commercial piece, nor was it work.
I didn't particularly care about whether it was interesting, or
whether it was arousing, or whether it was tear-jerking, or
anything like that.
Oh, to be sure, it wasn't as if I was protesting against the
criminal legal system or the current health care system, or
anything like that either ...
... In the end, if those of you who played through it ...
... felt that it was boring, or interesting, or that there was a
message, or that you really didn't get it, or that you felt
disgusted, or that you didn't feel happy, or anything else ...
... no matter what it is that you felt, as long as you felt
*something* ...
Then that which you felt is, for your part, the *all* of this
piece.
As for myself? For me, personally, I feel that ...
"... on a blindingly bright day ...
... on that very day of winter ..."
... is all.
Acknowledgements And Final Words ...
First of all, I would like to thank all the friends and
acquaintances who have supported me in this endeavor -- and there
have been so many of them.
I'd also like to thank the musicians who wrote original pieces
and, in some cases, arranged pieces that fit with my concept for
me.
However, I should note that because I felt that it would be too
impertinent -- and step beyond the bounds of
"arrangement" -- to ask the original composers to work
with me, I asked different people to do so instead.
As for the character art, I'd originally asked Pinsize to do it,
who did a wonderful job but couldn't find the time to do the last
few. For those, Mr. Yuuji Tsukasa graciously agreed to step in.
To all the people who beta-tested this piece, to those who agreed
to mirror the Web Edition, and to Ms. Rino Ayukawa, who provided
the voice work for Setsumi,
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking time from your
busy schedules to participate in this piece.
P.S. While they didn't have a direct hand in the creation of this
piece, I would like to thank the staff of Nissekichou Shibuya
Hospital and Higashiyodogawa Christ Hospital for their time and
patience.
I hope that we will have the chance to meet each other again on
different pages at a different time ...
29 July 2005
stage-nana
Tomo Kataoka
Translator's Note (voiced)
You are reading through what is probably the single most unique
localization effort ever attempted in the English-speaking
(ero-)game localization community. For one thing, two translators
worked nearly independently of each other on this piece. For
another, whether you choose to go with the voiced or the unvoiced
version makes a huge difference. For you see, Tomo Kataoka
originally wrote this piece with the intention of introducing
dilemmas that are generally not explored -- although the powerful
potential has probably always existed -- in this particular genre
of (slightly-)interactive entertainment.
We feel relatively justified in our choice to make it such that
the voiced version should have one translator, and the unvoiced
version should have another. The results are divergent in more
than one way: at the trivial level, Peter's British, and I'm
trained in American English.
But beyond that, I find that our two versions read quite
differently -- in some ways, radically so. At the same time,
I feel that there is no incongruity in my saying that both
versions are equally faithful to the text. So do as Tomo
Kataoka suggests -- read the voiced version and then the unvoiced
version (or vice versa, as per your preference) -- and see if
you don't come away with a more complete understanding of the
piece than you would have been afforded otherwise.
For all the budding translators out there: it may be instructive
to depack 0.txt from nscript.dat and see for yourself some of
the different ways that two different translators might tackle
the same sentence. Both of us have merely commented out the
original Japanese lines, and have placed our English translations
below them, so you'll be able to follow along. I also challenge
you: outdo us if you can. A piece like this can't have too many
different translations.
I would like to thank:
- Peter Jolly for agreeing to collaborate with me on this
translation and for his excellent localization standard
- Edward Keyes for his moral, graphical, and editorial
support (and for gruel wars / radish addictions)
- ogapee for his GPL implementation of NScripter
- Jeff Chang, Chris St. Louis, and Irene Ying for their
continuing efforts as translators
- The insani QC strike team for their relentless pursuit of
nitpicking detail
- All the people at the Haeleth boards who were convinced that
I wasn't doing this project because they failed to read the
declaration I wrote carefully
- You, the reader
14 August 2005
insani.org
Seung Park
Translator's Note
(unvoiced)
If the concept behind this work was the question of whether a
writer should choose to include or reject voices, then these
translations are the embodiment of that concept. Both Seung and I
have been forced to make that choice. As luck would have it, no
compromise was necessary, for we chose differently.
I have seen many western fans judge unvoiced games negatively.
For
example, I know several people who are refusing to play Clannad
till a voiced version is released. I have a certain amount of
sympathy for that view, particularly when the game's text uses
the
least foreigner-friendly script in the world. Yet there are
downsides to voicing; however good the actors, they will not
match
every reader's impression of the characters, and where only some
characters are voiced -- or even just one, as here -- the voicing
can disrupt the balance of a work. 'Narcissu' voiced is about
Setsumi, period. Unvoiced, it gains in breadth what it loses in
depth.
Some of you will inevitably try to judge our translations against
each other. Your efforts are doomed. Not only are we translating
subtly different works, into subtly different languages: our
backgrounds, our styles, and even our very approaches to the act
of translation itself differ more. In translation there are no
right answers, for all answers are equally wrong. Read both our
versions, therefore, not looking for a winner, but rather in the
hope that through combining our translations you may see more
glimpses of the original than either of us was able to retain.
You may yet wonder why we chose this and not any other work for
this experiment. It is, after all, not famous, nor patently
important; an unkind critic might even write for many pages on
its flaws. The answer is simply that it moved us. We were both
compelled to respond to it. So we both did.
In a collaborative endeavour such as this more than any other,
much gratitude is due to those without whose efforts the project
would have come to nothing. To Tomo Kataoka and the other members
of the original Japanese team, without whom there would have been
no 'Narcissu' to translate; to Seung Park, who in addition to his
excellent alternative translation provided the impetus without
which my own might never have been completed, and Ed Keyes, who
did not even blink when he discovered he would have to do all the
graphical work twice to satisfy us both; to the team of testers
who ensured we did not release anything embarrassingly broken:
my sincerest thanks.
Peter Jolly (Haeleth)
August 2005
Javascript Guy's Note
Hi.
23 February 2009
VDZ
Thanks to Moogy for hosting.